Thoughts on My Sick-Bed

病榻深思

By Dorothy Wordsworth

And has the remnant of my life
是否我生命所餘，
Been pilfered of this sunny Spring?
冥冥中失落了明媚的春？
And have its own prelusive sounds
獨屬於春的前奏音，
Touched in my heart no echoing string?
觸動我心，迴響卻無弦？

Ah! say not so—the hidden life
不是啊！這深藏於內的生命，
Couchant within this feeble frame
蜷伏而隱於羸弱的身軀，
Hath been enriched by kindred gifts,
早已盈滿於契印生命的餽贈，
That, undesired, unsought-for, came
而不曾求取，未曾索取的禮物，

With joyful heart in youthful days
與我年少的喜悅之心，伴隨而來，
When fresh each season in its Round
昔日當季節流轉復初，
I welcomed the earliest Celandine
我曾歡迎，最早綻放的小毛茛，
Glittering upon the mossy ground;
苔蘚蔓延的綠地上閃耀微光；

With busy eyes I pierced the lane
目光停不下來，深入鄉村小路，
In quest of known and unknown things,
探索著既知與未知的事物，
—The primrose a lamp on its fortress rock,
報春花，一盞燈開在岩石堡壘之上，
The silent butterfly spreading its wings,
蝴蝶悄悄展開翅膀，

The violet betrayed by its noiseless breath,
紫羅蘭被自己無聲的馨香，洩露形跡，
The daffodil dancing in the breeze,
水仙花在微風中舞姿搖曳，
The carolling thrush, on his naked perch,
畫眉歡唱頌歌，佇立裸枝，
Towering above the budding trees.
高處俯瞰著新生樹林。

Our cottage-hearth no longer our home,
屋舍壁爐不再是家，
Companions of Nature were we,
我們與大自然結伴同行，
The Stirring, the Still, the Loquacious, the Mute—
—動鬧的、閑靜的、聒噪的、沉默的—
To all we gave our sympathy.
我們共同感受萬物。

Yet never in those careless days
即使在無憂慮的昔日也從未，
When spring-time in rock, field, or bower
當春光在岩石間、在田野中、或樹蔭下，
Was but a fountain of earthly hope
不過是塵世寄盼的泉源，
A promise of fruits & the splendid flower.
承諾果實纍纍，鮮花燦爛。

No! then I never felt a bliss
—不，我從未—從未感受如今這種，
That might with that compare
能與之比擬的幸福，
Which, piercing to my couch of rest,
穿透我歇息的病榻，
Came on the vernal air.
乘著春風而來。

When loving Friends an offering brought,
當親愛的朋友送來獻禮，
The first flowers of the year,
那是今年最初綻放的花，
Culled from the precincts of our home,
從家的四周摘採，
From nooks to Memory dear.
來自回憶珍藏的角落。

With some sad thoughts the work was done.
花在採摘時，帶著幾許悲思。
Unprompted and unbidden,
但那湧然而生，情不自禁的喜悅啊，
But joy it brought to my hidden life,
帶入我內在隱藏的生命，
To consciousness no longer hidden.
意識不再隱匿幽微。

I felt a Power unfelt before,
我感覺到不曾感受的力量，
Controlling weakness, languor, pain;
駕馭了我的羸弱、憔悴與痛苦，
It bore me to the Terrace walk
帶我走向露臺步道，
I trod the Hills again; —
步履而我再次上山；

No prisoner in this lonely room,
不再是這孤室中的囚徒，
I saw the green Banks of the Wye,
我已見到瓦伊河的翠綠河岸，
Recalling thy prophetic words,
遙想你說過的話，竟有先見之明，
Bard, Brother, Friend from infancy!
詩人啊，兄長，我出生以來的友伴！

No need of motion, or of strength,
無須移動，無須體力，
Or even the breathing air;
甚至不須賴以呼吸的空氣；
—I thought of Nature’s loveliest scenes;
思及大自然最美的風景，
And with Memory I was there.
彼處，我與回憶同在矣。

此詩寫於1832年，桃樂絲（Dorothy Wordsworth）病中臥床，身體已受到疾病限制，寫下這首詩，遙想當年與兄長 William Wordsworth 同遊瓦伊河畔的時光。此後她的身心狀況逐漸惡化，生命最後二十年受失智所苦，晚年由兄長照料。桃樂絲不像威廉娓娓道來，只說收到新春最初綻放的花朵，精神振奮，並憶及瓦伊河的風景。可忘否，能忘否？三十多年前兄長的提問，妹妹終於回應了。一切收於回憶，藏於深深回憶。命定之份，誰能不受呢？

For thou art with me here upon the banks
今時你與我，堤岸並肩久，
Of this fair river; thou my dearest Friend,
美景在此河；而你為友最親我，
My dear, dear Friend; and in thy voice I catch
親密友、親摯友；於你聲音遂捕捉，
The language of my former heart, and read
昔我內心言說，閱讀遂捕獲，
My former pleasures in the shooting lights
昔日歡喜多，迸發光采於你眸，
Of thy wild eyes. Oh! yet a little while
狂野不馴之眸。噢，時光片刻請暫留，
May I behold in thee what I was once,
允許我，於你得見昔日我，
My dear, dear Sister! and this prayer I make,
手足親親呼喚求！……

……Therefore let the moon
於是請月光，
Shine on thee in thy solitary walk;
照耀你行路之獨；
And let the misty mountain-winds be free
且任茫茫山風吹拂，
To blow against thee: and, in after years,
風來向你直撲；之後歷經寒暑，
When these wild ecstasies shall be matured
忘魂狂喜在當初，狂野如此漸成熟，
Into a sober pleasure; when thy mind
轉清明，得喜悅，
Shall be a mansion for all lovely forms,
應為美之各種姿態，心智座落成屋，
Thy memory be as a dwelling-place
你的回憶成為棲居之所，
For all sweet sounds and harmonies; oh! then,
當為輕柔之聲、和諧之律，回憶作為棲居處。
If solitude, or fear, or pain, or grief,
在此刻，若有孤獨恐懼、痛苦傷悲，
Should be thy portion, with what healing thoughts
須成你命定之份，嘆此思將起寬慰，
Of tender joy wilt thou remember me,
其思欣喜也微微，足以憶為兄，
And these my exhortations! Nor, perchance—
念及昔日勸勉！

Nor, perchance—
又或—
If I should be where I no more can hear
為兄若不復聽聞，妹所發之聲，
Thy voice, nor catch from thy wild eyes these gleams
為兄若不復捕捉，妹不馴之眸，
Of past existence—wilt thou then forget
往事微光流露—可忘否，能忘否？
That on the banks of this delightful stream
彼時輕快有此溪，岸旁兄妹並肩立，
We stood together; and that I, so long
當時為兄長年矣，
A worshipper of Nature, hither came
尊崇山水敬奉揖，曾來此地，
Unwearied in that service: rather say
孜孜不倦為服侍；不如說是：
With warmer love—oh! with far deeper zeal
以更熱忱之情—噫！以更深遠之志，
Of holier love. Nor wilt thou then forget,
奉更神聖之情！可忘否，能忘否？

That after many wanderings, many years
—多少漂泊風雨後，暌違不見多少年—
Of absence, these steep woods and lofty cliffs,
在此陡直樹林與峭壁，
And this green pastoral landscape, were to me
青綠牧草山水景，對愚兄
More dear, both for themselves and for thy sake!
倍感珍惜，就以萬物本身，亦因賢妹矣。

1798年，William 問：「可忘否，能忘否？」
1832年，Dorothy 答：「我與回憶同在矣。」