A Love Letter from Lhasa  4

Chapter Three: Tsangyang Annie at the University of California, Berkeley

10

Founded in 1873, the University of California, Berkeley, stood behind an antique-style ornamental bronze entrance gate with intricate openwork carvings. Under the sunlight, the bronze structure reflected a warm, timeworn metallic sheen.

In the library of the School of Arts building, doctoral student Tsangyang Annie was researching Buddhist murals among the bookshelves when she unexpectedly discovered an illustrated volume titled An Illustrated Collection of Tibetan Esoteric Buddhist Murals and Stupa Designs, written in both English and Tibetan.

Curious, Annie murmured to herself, "September 1960, Tsangyang Drolma? This book was written by my grandmother..."

Annie turned through several pages and came across a photograph of her grandmother with her father when he was a young child. She studied the photograph intently.

11

In a suburban neighborhood near the University of California, Berkeley, broad, orderly, tree-lined streets stretched between homes, each with its own courtyard and lawn. This was where Tsangyang Annie lived.

In her bedroom, Annie sat at her desk, carefully reading the illustrated volume titled An Illustrated Collection of Tibetan Esoteric Buddhist Murals and Stupa Designs.

Late that night, Annie fell asleep at her desk from exhaustion, her head resting on her arms.

Her mother, Grace, entered carrying a jacket and gently draped it over Annie. Noticing the book on the desk, she picked it up, then helped Annie back to bed.

Grace took the book to her own bedroom and flipped through several pages.

She murmured to herself, "Does Annie want to go back to China?"

12

The next morning, Annie woke up and discovered that the illustrated volume on her desk was missing.

She thought to herself, "Mom must have taken it..."

Annie walked into the dining room. A breakfast sandwich and a glass of milk were waiting on the dining table. Grace was cleaning the kitchen counter.

"Mom, wheres my illustrated book?"

"Its on the desk in my bedroom." Grace turned around and untied her apron.

"Annie, do you want to go back to China to find your father?"

Annie nodded. "Ive always had that thought, Mom."

"Alas! Whats meant to happen will happen eventually."

Grace sat down facing Annie, held one of her daughters hands in both of hers, and spoke with a sorrowful expression.

"I wont be here anymore in a few months."

Annie looked horrified. "Mom, why are you suddenly saying something like that?"

"The doctors say the malignant tumor in my brain is already out of control."

"Then why didnt you tell me the truth earlier?" Annie asked reproachfully.

Graces eyes filled with tears.

"Mom didnt want you to worry. After Im gone, you can go back to China and reunite with Zashi."

13

An ambulance arrived outside the Tsangyang family home, and the driver brought the vehicle to a stop.

Medical personnel stepped out from the rear and pulled out a stretcher, wheeling it across the courtyard. Annie stood at the entrance and opened the wooden door to let them inside. Several curious neighbors watched from nearby.

The medical personnel helped Grace down the steps and laid her on the stretcher. Together with the driver, they wheeled the stretcher into the ambulance.

Annie stood behind them, bent down, and gently touched Graces cheek.

"Mom, Ill be with you soon."

Annie stepped back several paces. The driver closed the rear doors, walked around the ambulance, and returned to the drivers seat.

Annie watched as the ambulance drove away. The neighbors gathered around her with concerned expressions.

"Annie, whats wrong with Grace?"

"Shes in the late stages of brain cancer."

"Are you taking her to a hospice?"

Annie nodded, tears glistening in her eyes.

14

Holding a folder containing her doctoral dissertation proposal, Annie entered the department chairs office.

"Uncle, this is my doctoral dissertation proposal." Annie handed the folder to the department chair.

"All right, let me take a look."

Li Jianhua flipped through the proposal and browsed it for a while before saying, "The Aesthetic Perspectives of Esoteric Buddhist Murals and Stupa Art. This is a good topic. However, collecting and organizing the research materials will take quite a bit of time."

Annie immediately handed him the illustrated volume.

"I found this book, An Illustrated Collection of Lhasa Esoteric Buddhist Murals and Stupa Designs, in the library."

Li Jianhua smiled with satisfaction.

"I see. So you want to continue your grandmother Drolmas research?"

Annie nodded. "Yes."

"How do you plan to complete this research paper?"

"I want to return to my ancestral homeland in Tibet and spend several months conducting on-site examinations and field research."

"You should go find your father. Hes familiar with Tibetan culture and religion and is an expert in this field."

"Yes, but how can I find him?"

"Go to the Department of Fine Arts at Chengdu Arts University. Youll find him there. He teaches at that university. Annie, how has Grace been lately?"

Annie replied sadly, "Ive admitted her to the hospice ward at a Catholic hospital."

"What? You know about her condition now?"

"Yes. Mom told me herself. She wants me to go back to China and find my father."

"Grace didnt want you to worry, so she kept it from you all this time. Is she at the Sacred Heart Churchs care hospital?"

"Yes. I just took her there yesterday."

"Ill visit her after work. Back when we were in college, Zashi, Grace, and I studied and conducted research together. Your father, Zashi, was an exceptionally talented poet. He was particularly good at writing love poems and composing music, which was how he won Graces heart."

Annie spoke with resentment in her voice.

"But my father cruelly abandoned his wife and daughter and went back to China on his own."

Li Jianhua looked uncomfortable.

"Well... theres a story behind all that. Before you return to China, Ill let you know what really happened."

15

In the hospice ward, an intravenous needle was inserted into Graces wrist, and an IV bag hung beside her bed. Grace was fast asleep.

Beside her, Annie held the illustrated volume and read it.

Li Jianhua knocked gently on the door. Annie stood up and opened it. Jianhua was carrying two cans of powdered milk and a basket of fruit.

The two walked over to Graces bedside.

Li Jianhua spoke softly. "Let her rest. Dont wake her up. Ill stay for a little while and then leave."

Li Jianhua sat down in a chair and gazed at Grace, his eyes revealing deep affection and tenderness.

Annie noticed his expression and began to suspect that the relationship between him and her mother might have been more than just a friendship between old friends.

16

Graces condition deteriorated, and she fell into a coma. A nurse at the church hospital contacted Annie and asked her to come immediately.

After ending the phone call, Annie hurried out, got into her car, and drove to the hospital.

The doctor and nurses were standing beside the hospital bed. Annie leaned over beside the bed, gently touching her mother Graces cheek. Her heart was filled with profound sorrow and compassion for the lonely latter half of her mothers life.

At that moment, Grace suddenly regained consciousness and said, "Annie, dont blame your father, Zashi. Im the one who wronged him."

"Mom..." Annie did not want her mother to burden herself with worries.

"Annie, go back to China and find Zashi. Work with your father to fulfill the wish your grandmother Drolma held dear before she died. Retrieve that handwritten collection of love poems by Tsangyang Gyatso."

"Ill go with my father and fulfill Grandmas last wish, Mom."

Grace looked at Annie and smiled. Slowly, she closed her eyes.

17

At a suburban cemetery, a pastor presided over Graces funeral.

After the pastor finished reading the eulogy, Tsangyang Annie placed a wreath on the coffin.

Li Jianhua held a bouquet of white lilies in his hands. When the coffin was lowered into the grave, Jianhua scattered the lilies over it. He then fell to his knees, covered his face with his hands, and wept, murmuring to himself.

Annie stood nearby. When he finally lowered his hands, she approached him and helped him to his feet.

After the funeral, Annie, Li Jianhua, and the other relatives and friends slowly walked out of the cemetery.

Li Jianhua handed Annie a brown envelope.

"Annie, inside this envelope are the letters your father, Zashi, wrote to me. After youve read them, dont blame your father anymore, because Im the one who made the mistake."

Annie opened the envelope and saw several letters and a stack of cash.

"Uncle..."

Li Jianhua said, "Annie, I know money has been tight for you. Take this money with you. Youll need it when you return to China."

Annie nodded.

18

Li Jianhua drove Annie to the airport terminals departure hall. They got out of the car, and Annie took out her luggage and pulled it along behind her.

Li Jianhua accompanied her into the departure hall and walked with her to the security checkpoint.

"Annie, when you arrive in Chengdu and see Zashi, please give him my regards."

Annie nodded.

Li Jianhua hugged Annie and kissed her on the forehead.

He watched as Annie passed through the security checkpoint, then waved goodbye to her.

19

Seated inside the airplane cabin, Annie read the letters her father, Zashi, had written to Li Jianhua.

After finishing the letters, Annie began to sympathize with her father. The resentment she had felt toward him gradually eased.

"Alas! So the reason my father left my mother was that Uncle had interfered in their marriage..."

Annie gazed thoughtfully at the sunlit clouds outside the airplane window.