夜雨寄西
問君歸期未有期。
臺灣夜雨漲春池。
何日再燃南窗燭,
共詩臺灣夜雨時。
02/08/2013
步李商隐「夜雨寄北」
原詩與英文譯詩附後。
並請比較指正。
夜雨寄北
君問歸期未有期。
巴山夜雨漲秋池。
何當共剪西窗燭,
却話巴山夜雨時。
夜雨寄西
Poem on a Rainy Night
.
I asked when you would come back.
You said it couldn’t be decided.
Tonight the rains of Taiwan outside
are raising the spring ponds high.
When can we light once more
the south window candle light,
and talk about poems of ours
on such a rainy Taiwan night?
02/08/2013
.
夜雨寄北
Poem on a Rainy Night
(Post to a Friend in the North)
.
I should say it cannot be decided.
Tonight the rains of Bashan outside
are raising the autumn ponds high.
When can we kindle once more
the west window candle light,
talk about feelings and so forth
of such a rainy Bashan night?
04/20/2016
- 1樓. 景寔2014/04/16 22:07兄台您好:
中文古典詩,尤其是近體詩,因講究平仄,押韻,一般而言,不容易翻成外文,兄台譯文如行雲流水,實佩服也。李商隱的「 共剪西窗燭」,現代的成語「剪燭西窗」巳成為思友的成語,我以為「剪燭」(燭花snuff),會比「燃燭」來得思念些!還有若僅從原詩中更動幾句,也難免會忽視其原詩中的平仄合律問題!多謝兄台盛情回應與溢美之辭。拙詩不過是一時興起遊戲之作。未考慮到格律。沒有受過相當的訓練,實在不應染指格律之詩。關於「剪燭」,覺得現代的臘燭已無花可剪,故採用「燃燭」,確是不雅。所有的拙詩都不講韻律,實在是為求方便也是想打破限制。我不知現代的古典詩是否可以如兄台的大作中林黛玉所主張的,有限度的允許荒腔走板。否則在後代子孫中將難以為繼了。
戈 筆 揚 於 2014/04/18 09:41回覆















