好啦，我們（read：吾婆）也不是在怎樣訛詐誰啦，只是在「哀求」如何不被訛詐 OK？

我的 Z4 昨天忽然冒出 “Service Engine Soon” 的 warning。為此我 Google 上網搜尋，找到好幾百萬個類似個案。為此還加入了一個 Bimmerforums 的秘密組織，大家交換心得（或心酸）。

Bimmer 的意思是 BMW 的汽車。Beamer 的意思是 BMW 的摩拖車。

當然多半最後無疾而終，BMW 的電腦秘密是不會如此輕易讓用戶破解的。

我只能以畢生電子＋電機＋電腦的一點點殘餘知識來對抗 dealer 的終極努力 —— 如何 scam 你的荷包。

陳美鳳式的語言是「矯」。一方面要充「鄉土」，同時隱藏對國語乃至國家的不認同；另方面在閩語不足處又不得不便宜行事 conveniently 「借用」國語，讓人覺得很賤。

言語只是表面，背後的心態才真可鄙。

「娘家」、「嫁妝」類的閩南語連續劇（其實就是時裝劇）也向來如此。隨時亂借國語，多到聽來噁心。

有種有本事就像黃俊雄布袋戲那樣以純閩語發音，或像國語、粵語連續劇那樣，不要偷用其他語言。

方言毫不可恥，可是在我們臺灣的福佬人就有這種藉語言來否定國家的問題。香港人講粵語流利到不行，可是人家就沒有國家認同障礙。

瞞不了我。

Cowboy Casanova —— Carrie Underwood 的魅力無法擋。寫得出 “Before He Cheats” 的詞，咬得住 “Cowboy Casanova” 的字，這才叫「在地」。

You better take it from me
That boy is like a disease
You're runnin' and tryin' and tryin' to hide
And you're wondering why you can't get free
He's like a curse; he's like a drug
You get addicted to his love
You wanna get out, but he's holding ya down
'Cause you can't live without one more touch

[Chorus]
He's a good time cowboy Casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
You better run for your life

I see that look on your face
You ain't hearing what I say
So I'll say it again 'cause I been where ya been
And I know how it ends, you can't get away
Don't even look in his eyes
He'll tell you nothing but lies
And you wanna believe that you won't be deceived
If you listen to me and take my advice

He's a good time cowboy Casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
You better run for your life

Run, run away, don't let him mess with your mind
He'll tell you anything you wanna hear
He'll break your heart; it's just a matter of time
But just remember

He's a good time cowboy Casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
You better run for your life

Oh, you better run for your life
Oh, you better run for your life

Read more:  Carrie Underwood - Cowboy Casanova Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

也曾站在大華超市水族箱邊等活螃蟹死，然後指著告 Amigo 說：「Crab dead，I want this」（螃蟹死了，我要這隻），因為死螃蟹和活螃蟹價錢不同。

超狠的！

有圖有真相：