在父親去世以前，我們兄弟姊妹六人的感情一直非常好。不論是在母親這邊還是父親這邊的親戚當中，我們家的手足感情都算是出了名的親密。大家從小彼此扶持，感情深厚，而且在學業和工作上的表現也都相當優秀，因此常常被親友稱讚。那時候的我們，真的是一個很讓人羨慕的家庭。

可是，很多關係往往經不起現實的考驗。有人說，愛與恨往往只有一線之隔。我覺得這句話不只適用於男女之情，也同樣適用於家人之間。夫妻可能因為相愛而走入婚姻，卻也可能因為現實與利益而反目成仇；兄弟姊妹之間也是一樣。人與人之間，再深的感情，有時也可能因為金錢、利益、誤解，慢慢產生裂痕。

在我看來，世上最接近無條件的愛，或許只有父母對子女的愛。即使兒女有虧欠、有背叛，父母心裡往往還是愛著孩子。這也讓我想到上帝對人的愛。人雖然軟弱、自私，甚至彼此傷害，但神的愛仍然不改變。也許正因如此，我更深地體會到，人的愛是有限的，神的愛卻是永恆的。

我們家的轉變，開始於父親去世之後。父親在十幾年前過世，沒有留下正式遺囑，只曾口頭表示，家裡的農田大致上要留給兩個兒子。這其實反映了傳統觀念：認為兒子承接家產是比較理所當然的事，而女兒通常較少被考慮。

除了農田之外，家裡有兩戶國宅。當年政府規定，一個人只能登記一戶，所以其中一戶登記在哥哥名下，另一戶登記在母親名下。這兩戶房子的頭期款是父親出的，分期付款主要由先開始工作的哥哥負擔，之後妹妹和弟弟也陸續工作，因此多少也有幫忙分擔一些。

然而，父親去世後，關於房產該如何分配，兄弟姊妹之間開始出現嚴重分歧。哥哥認為，既然當初其中一戶是登記在他名下，而且自己也負擔了大部分付款，加上父親一向有「房子留給兒子」的想法，所以兩戶房子理應由兩個兒子繼承。可是妹妹卻認為，既然自己和弟弟也曾經付過部分房貸，自己就應該有權分得其中的一部分。雙方各持己見，誰也不肯退讓。

我、大姐和二姐，對這兩個房子都沒有意見，不想參與爭奪。可是即使如此，衝突還是越演越烈。哥哥性格固執，認為自己不該讓步；妹妹則是一旦認定自己該得的東西，就一定要爭到底的人。我曾經勸哥哥，不如退一步，成全妹妹，免得傷了手足之情；但哥哥始終認為自己是長子，又付出最多，不願接受這樣的分法。

後來事情鬧得非常難看。妹妹為了達到目的，甚至寫信到哥哥的辦公室，指控他對母親不孝、對母親施暴，希望影響他的工作與外派安排。雖然哥哥的上司並沒有否定他的人品，只是讓他的外派延後一年，但這件事已經造成了很深的傷害。最後，哥哥還是讓出了那三分之一，可是從此以後，兄妹之間不再說話。哥哥之後外派直到五年前退休回到台灣。

但事情並沒有因此結束。哥哥回台後，因為母親年事已高，他開始幫忙管理母親的生活與銀行帳戶。妹妹知道後，特地從國外回來，並和弟弟站在同一邊，與哥哥在照顧母親和掌控財務上展開新一輪的爭執。雙方互不信任，甚至為了存摺、印章、證件等問題，多次發生衝突。後來妹妹還申請保護令，使哥哥無法接近母親。整個家庭就在這樣的紛爭中，越來越分裂。

在這些混亂之中，我、大姐和二姐比較同情哥哥，因為我們認為，無論如何，妹妹用報警、申請保護令、向法院求助，甚至向哥哥的工作單位寫信等方式來對付自己的親哥哥，實在太激烈，也太傷人了。可是，正因為我們表達了這樣的立場，妹妹和弟弟也對我們非常不滿。最後，家裡就分成了兩邊：前面四個站在一起，後面兩個站在一起，彼此的感情也降到了冰點。

走到今天這一步，真的令人非常感慨。曾經那麼親密、那麼被親友羨慕的一家人，最後竟然因為財產、權力與現實的糾葛，變成彼此對立、互不往來。這件事也讓我深深體會到：人生裡有很多事情，真的不是單靠感情就能維持的。愛很珍貴，但也很脆弱；一旦遇上利益衝突，很多人都可能改變。

這些年的變化，讓我對人性有了更深的認識，也不再像年輕時那樣單純。我明白了，曾經彼此相愛的人，未必能永遠相愛；曾經以為牢不可破的親情，也可能因現實而崩裂。這並不是我樂見的結果，卻是我在生命中學到的一課。

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Has your relationship with your siblings changed over the years?

Before my father passed away, the relationship among the six of us siblings was very close. Among all our relatives on both my mother’s and father’s sides, our family was known for having especially strong bonds. We supported one another growing up, stayed connected, and took pride in each other’s achievements. We all did well in school and later in our careers, and our family was often seen as a model of harmony and success.

However, many relationships cannot withstand the test of reality. There is a saying that love and hate are only a thin line apart. I believe this applies not only to romantic relationships, but also to family. People who once loved each other deeply can become strangers—or even enemies—when conflicts arise, especially over money or interests.

In my view, perhaps the only truly unconditional love in this world is the love parents have for their children. No matter what happens, that love rarely turns into hatred. This reminds me of God’s love—unchanging and enduring, even when human relationships fail.

The change in our family began after my father passed away 10+ years ago. He did not leave a formal will, but he had mentioned that the family farmland should go to his two sons. This reflected a traditional belief that sons are the primary heirs, while daughters are less often considered.

In addition to the farmland, our family owned two government-subsidized housing units. At the time they were purchased, regulations allowed only one property per person, so one unit was registered under my brother’s name and the other under my mother’s name. I and my two older sisters were in USA at that time. The down payment was made by my father, and most of the mortgage payments were initially covered by my older brother, who started working earlier. Later, my younger siblings also contributed to some extent. The payment was very minimal at that time , but the house appreciated a lot since 1984.

After my father’s death, disagreements over how to divide the properties began to surface. My brother believed that, since one of the houses was in his name and he had paid most of the mortgage, and given our father’s traditional thinking, both properties should belong to the two sons. However, my younger sister felt that since she and my younger brother had also contributed financially, she was entitled to a share.

My older sisters and I chose to give up any claim to the inheritance, hoping to avoid conflict. But despite that, the dispute escalated. My brother was very firm and unwilling to give in, while my sister was equally determined to obtain what she believed was her rightful share. I once tried to persuade my brother to compromise, to preserve family harmony, but he refused.

The conflict eventually became very serious. My sister went as far as writing to my brother’s workplace, accusing him of being unfilial and even abusive toward our mother, in an attempt to affect his career. Although his employer did not fully accept these accusations, the damage had already been done. In the end, my brother agreed to give her one-third of the property, but from that point on, they stopped speaking to each other. Shortly afterward, he was assigned overseas and gradually lost contact with the family until he returned to Taiwan 5 years ago.

Unfortunately, the conflicts did not end there. After returning, my brother began helping manage our elderly mother’s daily life and finances. When my sister found out, she returned from Canada and joined forces with my younger brother. New disputes arose over control of my mother’s bank accounts and financial matters. The situation became increasingly chaotic, with both sides distrusting each other and competing for control. At one point, my sister even obtained a restraining order, preventing my brother from approaching our mother.

During all of this, my two older sisters and I tended to sympathize with my brother. We felt that involving the police, the courts, and even his workplace against one’s own sibling was too extreme. However, because we took this position, my younger sister and brother became deeply resentful toward us. In the end, our family split into two groups—four of us on one side, and the other two on the other—and our relationships reached a freezing point.

Looking back, it is deeply saddening. A family that was once so close and admired has become divided due to conflicts over money, control, and differing values. This experience has taught me that love, while precious, can also be fragile. When faced with real-life pressures and interest , even strong relationships can break down.

Over the years, I have come to understand human nature more deeply. I am no longer as naive as I once was. People who once loved each other can turn against each other, and bonds we thought were unbreakable may not last. It is not something I welcome, but it is a reality I have learned to accept.