“I know you better than you know yourself!” As a young man, I heard that confident declaration from a friend. Her intentions were good, but my complicated life as an adopted missionary kid had been shaped across four continents and cultures. She didn’t really know me.

Zophar, a friend of Job’s, sounded wise in his assessment of Job’s difficulties. “Can you fathom the mysteries of God?” Zophar asked him (Job 11:7). “They are higher than the heavens above” (v. 8). Who can argue with that? But then Zophar dared speak of something he couldn’t know: Job’s heart. Without evidence, he proclaimed, “If you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then . . . you will stand firm and without fear” (vv. 14-15). 

Job responded sarcastically, “Wisdom will die with you! But I have a mind as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Who does not know all these things?” (12:2-3). Job’s reality was so complex that even he didn’t know what was taking place (see Job 1-2). He correctly said, “To God belong wisdom and power” (12:13). It didn’t come from Zophar, who presumed to have authority and insight that weren’t his.

Our friends may need our loving counsel from time to time. But usually friends in crisis need us to bring their names in prayer to the one who truly does know them.