* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

知識是知道蕃茄是一種水果。智慧是不把它放进水果沙拉。

*  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

晚間新聞是那個他們開始道「晚安」，然後告訴你為何它並非如此的地方。

*   To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

從一個人那裡盜取主意是剽窃。从许多人那裡盜取主意是研究。

*  A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.汽車站是汽車停顿的地方。火車站是火車停顿的地方。在我桌上，我有一個工作站。

*  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

每次填寫申請表，在那個＂緊急時，通知：＂的地方，我總填上＂醫生。＂

*  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

金錢買不到快樂，但它的確使苦難好受一些。

* You're never too old to learn something stupid.

你永遠不會老得學不會做蠢事。

*   To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

為了保證打中目標，先打然後把你打到的任何東西稱為目標。

*   Where there's a will, there's relatives.

有遺囑的地方，就有親人。