歉致茱麗
我對她點點頭,
她對我彎彎嘴,
當我們瞠目初會。
怎麼這麼漂亮的美女!
怎麼這麼英俊的帥哥!
我們同時暗讃與驚愕。
自那日她會盼望著時日,
自那刻我會計算著時刻,
我們同上週二八點的課。
在那漫長的週與日內,
我們把整個世界忘記,
只是沉醉於苦痛與甜密裡。
我會技巧的對她偷瞄,
她會羞怯的對我偷睨,
我們在作多麼頑皮的交易。
她在熱切的期盼等待,
我卻無奈的推拖遲疑,
我們在玩多麼痛苦的遊戲。
她可以作我的情人嗎?
我可以作她的情侶嗎?
如此我們可以偷香私聚。
我怎麼可以那麼要求?
她為甚麼要這麼允許?
這遊戲不公平也不名譽!
我應該早點告訴她,
但實在很不願意,
否則我會失去這份豔遇。
她應該清楚的知道,
如此可立斷羈縷,
否則將栽進痛恨的深渠。
她能否給我一個機會,
可向她表白解說,
而寬恕我的罪過?
我並非存心欺弄,
只已經有個老婆,
怎能讓三人同闖大禍!
英文原詩附後
並請批評指正
An Apology to Julie
I greeted her with a nod,
she answered me with a smile,
when we met first time, with wide eyes.
How come? Such a beautiful gal!
How could? That a handsome guy!
Simultaneously, silently we wondered, cried!
Since that hour, I counted the hours.
Since that day, she longed for the date.
Both we for the class on Tuesday at eight.
We forgot the whole world,
in all those long days and weeks
sated ourselves with bitter-and-sweet.
I’d peek at her skillfully.
She’d leer at me stealthily.
What a tricky treat we traded?
She’d waited for me eagerly.
I’d date with her lingeringly.
What a painful play we played!
Could she be my secret love?
Should I be her sweet heart?
So we might have an amorous affair.
How could I do this?
Why should she be that?
This game was immoral and unfair!
I should tell her early.
However I was unwillingly.
Or, I would lose this great taste.
She should know it clearly,
so she could cut it immediately.
Or, she would fall into deep hate.
Might she give me
a chance to totally shrive,
then forgive completely my crime?
I was not a cheat.
I was only having a wife.
How could I destroy all their lives?!
- 9樓. ''2014/08/02 10:54程度不足
只能欣賞中文
欢迎常来欣赏! 戈 筆 揚 於 2014/08/15 22:34回覆 - 8樓. 張靜2014/07/29 09:30
情在朦朧曖昧時最美..
發乎情,止乎禮
寫首詩恰恰適宜
- 7樓. 何偉2014/07/26 11:39中文翻得好棒!請問英文是您寫得嗎!了不起!
- 6樓. 旭日初昇2014/07/25 13:16
婚外情或許浪漫但很危險,畢竟兩人世界沒有第三者的餘地。
慶幸最終理智戰勝迷情。
- 5樓. 景寔2014/07/23 20:49這詩寫得深切動人。主角的婚姻道德還是戰勝愛情自在,與西方強調愛情自由至上觀有所不同,但關於愛情詩歌終究有浪漫主義成份,多年以後作者一定不再歸責於道德的苛責,而是恨不相逢未娶(嫁)時?!
多謝譽辭。
人生天性浪漫,而受道德的束縛。因此才有「恨不相逢未娶(嫁)時」的遺憾。
這遺憾常是遺憾終身哪!
然而,塞翁失馬,焉知非福。塞翁得馬,焉知非禍。人生有很多不得已,也有很多錯不得呀!
再謝盛情。
戈 筆 揚 於 2014/07/24 07:49回覆 - 4樓. 玄宇居2014/07/23 19:52也是外遇?
難忘的火花中
有一份俏皮
一份驚喜
外加~
不多不少的遺憾感
- 3樓. pearlz (民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO )2014/07/22 21:06有俏皮感
我特別喜歡中文的用字與音調,也許是因為文化的關係,描述華人的愛情,中文更能表達出中國人的情境。
多謝欣賞。
一般來說譯文總比原文差。珍珠女士特別喜歡我的譯文,是對作者的一份鼓勵,也是對我國文字的優越性的強調。不錯,用英文來表達中國人的情感,確實有點不合。
再度多謝。
戈 筆 揚 於 2014/07/24 04:49回覆 - 2樓. 多硯坊 (休)2014/07/21 17:16觸動的心弦
燃燒的意念
深刻而生動
在輕盈的文字間 - 1樓. 通霄客2014/07/21 03:28此來電之所謂也
Ever since, I counted the hours.
Since that, she longed for the date.
Both we for the class on Tuesday at eight.
很高興兄台能有相似的遭遇。很高興「我德不孤」。也很希望能有機會一讀大作。
這是我年輕時的一首舊作。我把上列三行再度修改如下:
Since that hour, I counted the hours.
Since that day, she longed for the date.
Both we for the class on Tuesday at eight.
修改後覺得音意較佳。恰巧與中譯更為相合。
寫詩難免修改。古人「一詩千改始安心」「一個字捋斷數根鬚」。小子何能免俗。
戈 筆 揚 於 2014/07/21 06:13回覆