Chapter 6. The Creation of Modern Song Lyrics

Preface:
According to the author’s many years of experience in writing lyrics and composing songs, creating modern song lyrics or writing modern song lyrics is actually far more difficult than composing free verse, because free verse, once freed from formal constraints, is no longer bound by metrical rules.

Modern song lyrics are a highly strictly conditioned type of metrical poetry. They emphasize syllable count per line and number of characters, end-rhyme patterns, tonal symmetry between level and oblique tones, line-end rhyming, rhyme shifts, and so on. If one is familiar with these “rules” and knows how to flexibly apply variations, and is able to write or produce lyrics with beautiful imagery, then one’s skill in lyric writing has in fact reached a state of “transcendent mastery”. Those free verse poets are at most minor figures at the gate of poetry, and cannot hope to compare with you. Therefore, do not think that writing lyrics is merely arranging lines and piecing together sentences, or regard it as a trivial craft.

Beautiful lyrics set to melody, once loved by listeners, not only spread widely, but also have a very considerable return on investment, absolutely exceeding the usual remuneration of eight hundred or one thousand per poem. Modern popular songs’ lyrics mostly come from so-called “professional lyricists”. Their professionalism comes from their mastery of these “rules of lyric writing” and their ability to apply them flexibly, while their own literary cultivation is actually secondary. This has resulted in many popular songs showing a phenomenon of “having meaning but no imagery, having emotion but no visual scene”, an excessive sentimentalism. The entire text is filled with romantic sorrow and tragic lament, with negative emotions making listeners feel as if the end of the world is imminent. Therefore, the author hopes that more outstanding new poets will enter the field of popular lyric writing, comprehensively elevate the creative level of popular lyrics, and completely reverse this phenomenon of “having meaning but no imagery, having emotion but no visual scene”.

Section 1. The phenomenon of excessive sentimentalism in popular lyrics

Early popular songs had subtle and implicit meanings, with imagery and visual scenes. The imagery in lyrics provided continuous visual scenes, allowing listeners to imagine and connect these scenes in their minds into a complete love story:

〈The Slanting Sun in Misty Rain〉 / Zhuang Nu

A curtain of misty rain—where do you come from
Like love—you go where?

A trace of slanting sunlight—you arrive in haste
Like love—you leave again in haste

This life is also the same
Like misty rain and slanting sun
Beautiful, brief, hazy and distant
At the moment of parting, how much sorrow is hidden

In this AAB structure of lyrics, section A contains concrete imagery such as “misty rain” and “slanting sun”. These are not merely abstract nouns and emotions such as “love”, “life”, “parting”, and “sorrow”. Continuous imagery (visual scenes) provides the listener with imagination, allowing them to construct a story. The lyrics also use metaphorical techniques rather than merely directly describing emotions.

〈Autumn Water and Endless Sky〉 / Liang Guangming

It is still the autumn tide toward the evening sky, still the reed blossoms along the distant embankment
How many clouded mountains and broken dreams, how many youthful tears
All are entrusted to the boundless wind and mist of the sea
Already transformed into distant fishing lights, ten thousand dots

It is still the autumn shore with fading goose cries, still the setting sun before the thatched gate
How many returning sails counted, how many small harbor spring sorrows
All are entrusted to the boundless wind and mist of the sea
Already transformed into distant fishing lights, ten thousand dots

In this BABA structure of lyrics, concrete and perceptible imagery appears everywhere. For example, in main verse B1 there are “autumn tide”, “evening sky”, “reed blossoms”, “distant embankment”, “clouded mountains”, “tears of emotion”, etc.; in B2 there are “autumn shore”, “goose cries”, “setting sun”, “thatched gate”, “returning sails”, “small harbor”, etc.; in the chorus there are “sea”, “wind and mist”, and “distant fishing lights”. Through these continuous visual images, listeners can construct a vivid narrative scene in their minds.

Modern popular lyrics have gradually become more vague and verbose, unlike the concise and visually concrete lyrics of the early period. This phenomenon of “emptiness and excessive sentimentalism” has existed for a long time. Since the 1980s, although poets such as Yu Guangzhong, Xi Murong, and Chen Kehua have participated in lyric writing, and Luo Dayou and campus folk songs once brought a fresh current, most lyric writers still habitually “shout out love in a hoarse voice”, producing a large amount of lyrics that are “having soul but no body, having meaning but no imagery, having emotion but no visual scene”. The tone is overly sweet and excessively sentimental, sticky and nauseatingly mushy. Listeners seem gradually to have become accustomed to it and can accept this direct and superficial, almost colloquial “shouting of love”. Popular lyrics have even degenerated into a “recycling bin of emotional waste”. Consider the following two recent popular songs:

〈Ask〉 / lyrics & music: Jonathan Lee

Who makes your heart move, who makes your heart ache, who makes you occasionally want to hold them in your arms
Who cares about your dreams, who says they understand your thoughts, who is moved for you
If a woman always waits until late at night, giving youth without regret, then he will be sincere to you
Should women never ask too much, should they remain forever innocent, for the one they love
Who makes your heart move, who makes your heart ache, who makes you occasionally want to hold them in your arms
Who cares about your dreams, who says they understand your thoughts, who is moved for you

Only women easily fall deeply in love, always trapped by love, finally sinking deeper and deeper
But women—love is their soul, they can devote their entire life for the one they love
Only women easily fall deeply in love, always trapped by love, finally sinking deeper and deeper
But women—love is their soul, they can devote their entire life for the one they love
But women—love is their soul, they can devote their entire life for the one they love

In this song〈Ask〉, the entire lyrics consist of abstract vocabulary: “love”, “soul”, “youth”, “dream”, “devotion”, and abstract emotions such as “heart moved”, “heart ache”, “without regret”. These “components” are all abstract emotional elements of “having meaning but no imagery, having soul but no body”. When listeners close their eyes and recall it, there is almost no concrete visual scene that can remain in the mind for imagination. What the lyrics narrate is unclear; only waves of negative emotional vocabulary repeatedly press upon the listener’s emotions.

〈Waking Up from a Dream〉 / lyrics & music: Jonathan Lee

You said you loved someone you should not have loved, your heart full of scars
You said you made a mistake you should not have made, your heart full of regret

You said you have tasted all the bitterness of life, unable to find anyone to trust
You said you felt extremely frustrated, even beginning to doubt life itself

Knowing heartbreak is inevitable, why fall so deeply in love
Because love is always hard to separate, why care about that little warmth
Knowing heartbreak is inevitable, at every moment of waking from a dream
Some things you need not ask now, some people you will never need to wait for

In this song〈Waking Up from a Dream〉, the entire lyrics likewise consist of abstract vocabulary: “love”, “scars”, “mistake”, “waking from a dream”, and abstract emotions such as “pain”, “regret”, “frustration”, “doubt”, “heartbreak”, “deep love”, “warmth”. Again, no visual scene ever remains in the mind.

Songs like〈Ask〉and〈Waking Up from a Dream〉, filled with “having soul but no body, having meaning but no imagery, having emotion but no visual scene”, and excessively sentimental like slogans, have nevertheless become highly popular in the market. This reflects that most listeners, after long-term conditioning, have had their perceptual reception function degraded, becoming shallow and impoverished, retaining only emotional sensitivity but lacking the imagination that poetry should possess.

Section 2. How to fill in and write modern popular song lyrics

Modern popular song lyrics are divided into two types: lyric filling and lyric creation. The former takes existing melodies or foreign songs as a “blueprint”, and carries out lyric writing or lyric rewriting. The lyrics of foreign songs are rewritten into Chinese (Mandarin or Taiwanese Hokkien or Hakka), and this is simultaneously a kind of “meta-creation”. Those who fill in lyrics are called “lyric fillers”; the latter are called “lyricists”, who create from nothing. Generally speaking, they mostly follow rules of lyric writing to create lyrics in a certain form, and then hand them to composers to set the music (main melody), after which arrangers add the prelude, interlude, and ending. After completing this process, a song is basically completed.

I. Lyric filling

So-called “lyric filling” refers to “using an existing melody and writing lyrics according to syllable and metrical rules”. Its advantage is that there is a main melody as the basis for lyric writing, so there is no need to spend effort designing syllables and meter, nor to spend time deliberating the order of word arrangement and combination. Its disadvantage is that it is constrained by the main melody, requiring careful adjustment of word count and selection of corresponding vocabulary, which limits the lyricist’s imaginative space and freedom of expression.

Principle: one must avoid similarity in wording and overlapping emotional content with the original lyrics, but the emotional tone (sadness or joy) is allowed to be similar. Beginners can start practicing with short, simple-form early popular song lyrics. The steps are as follows:

1. Find a song you like and try to fill in new lyrics. First listen to the melody back and forth several times while comparing with the original lyrics. If one can find numbered notation (jianpu) corresponding to the lyrics, and carefully study the matching between notes, beats, and lyrics in each measure, the effect will be even better.

〈The Homeland of the West Wind〉 Lyrics: Sun Jialin / Composer: Weng Qingxi / Vocal: Yin Xia

If you are a small flower, you should also have a homeland;
If you are a small flower, you also have a place where you grow.

Oh west wind! where do you come from, there should always be a starting point;
Oh west wind! where are you going, do not forget your homeland.

If you are a lamb, you should also have a homeland;
If you are a fledgling swallow, you also have a place where you grow.

Oh west wind! why are you silent, always so quiet;
Oh west wind! how many thoughts do you have, why must you hide them.

(1) The number of words in lyrics should be equal to or less than the number of scale notes

“In where do you come from” contains six scale notes, using six characters; “where are you going” also contains six scale notes, but uses only five characters, because the word “go” occupies two scale notes. It is worth noting that this situation reminds lyric writers that the number of characters used in lyric writing, the “maximum” number of characters, should correspond to the number of scale notes. In this passage, the maximum is six characters. The lyric writer may reduce by one or two characters, but must not forcibly increase it to seven or more characters, otherwise the rhythm becomes too compressed and the lyrics will be sung unclearly.

(2) In the same position, use a binary (contrastive) relationship of meter

Furthermore, in “where do you come from”, the character “come” is a level-rising tone, while in “where are you going”, the character “go” is a falling tone. The two form a before-and-after correspondence, which conforms to the compositional principle of melodic variation of “seeking difference within sameness”: using contrasting rising and falling tones to mark semantic meaning and melody, producing dual variation within a symmetrical relationship. The same principle also applies to “lamb” (level-rising pattern) and “fledgling swallow” (falling pattern); “silent” (rising-falling pattern) and “hidden” (falling-rising pattern), in these two sets of lyric correspondences.

There is also a hidden mechanism in this song, located in the end rhyme of each stanza. Readers may already have noticed its pattern: the variation lies in the third stanza at the same position. The end rhyme of “starting point” in the first stanza is the “-an” rhyme, forming a “rhyme shift” (similar vowels constitute a shifted rhyme) with the main “-ang” rhyme; the end rhyme of “silent” in the second stanza is the “-o” rhyme, forming a “rhyme change” (different vowels constitute a changed rhyme) with the main “-ang” rhyme. In this regard, the lyricist seems to have been influenced by classical poetry (jueju), deliberately selecting the end rhyme of the third stanza to perform rhyme shifting and rhyme changing.

(3) Tonal transformation: raising oblique tone into level tone

In this song, “should also have a homeland” contains six scale notes, and the line-end uses a rising-falling pattern, first falling then rising, extending the final rhyme of “home” with the “-ang” sound; “also has a place where it grows” is a variation of the previous line, containing seven scale notes. The line-end originally also uses a rising-falling pattern, but the composer, for variation, raises the tone of the character “place”, changing it into the first tone, producing a “tone change” (oblique tone becoming level tone). Thus “place” transforms into a level-level tonal pattern. This is because in symmetrical positions within the same stanza (both being the third line), it is not appropriate to use the same pattern both before and after, otherwise the melody would become repetitive and monotonous.

The author attempts to re-fill the original lyrics as follows, for readers’ reference:

〈Time Treasure Box〉 Lyrics: Chen Qianfei

You say childhood will return again, once the treasure box is opened;
You say youth will return again, the dream of the heart still remains.

Oh treasure box! you sealed away memories, from then on there is no wind or rain;
Oh treasure box! you are silent, yet you have kept laughter in memory.

You say good times will return again, flowers bloom on time;
You say beautiful scenes will return again, beautiful emotions still exist.

Oh treasure box! you have preserved time, leaping over the vicissitudes of reality;
Oh treasure box! you open dreams, and we relive joy and sorrow.

In the author’s attempt at lyrics, the main rhyme of the first two lines in the first section is the “-ai” rhyme; the third and fourth lines respectively use the “-ü” and “-i” rhymes. In terms of rhyme structure, it is first rhyme change, then rhyme shift. In the second section, the first and second lines use the main “-ai” rhyme, only substituting words on the surface so that “good times” and “beautiful scenes” form a homogeneous correspondence; the third and fourth lines respectively use the “-ang” and “-an” rhymes. In terms of rhyme structure, it is also first rhyme change, then rhyme shift.

2. In addition, when filling lyrics, one must pay attention to the following rules:

(1) Try to preserve the original syllables as much as possible

Try to use prepositions (from, from, toward, by, in, etc.), conjunctions (and, with, although, because, even if, etc.), structural particles (of, structural markers), dynamic particles (le, zhe, guo), and sentence-ending particles (de, le, ne, ma, ba, a, etc.) according to the syllables of the original song as much as possible. Do not destroy the original syllabic structure of the song, so as to avoid imbalance in tempo speed.

〈Prayer〉Lyrics: Weng Bing-rong / Music: Japanese traditional melody / Singer: Weng Qing-xi

Let us strike the bell of hope ah! how many prayers are in the heart.
Let everyone not see failure, let success forever exist.

Let the Earth forget its rotation ah! the four seasons lose spring, summer, autumn, winter.
Let the universe be unable to close the skylight, let the sun not set in the west.

Let joy replace sorrow ah, smiles will no longer be shy.
Let time know how to flow backward, let youth not slip away.

Let poverty begin to flee ah, happiness and health spread in all directions.
Let the world find no darkness, happiness like flowers blooming.

In the lyrics, the structural particle “of,” the dynamic particle “le,” and the sentence-ending particle “ah” should, when rewriting, be preserved in their original parts of speech as much as possible. If any one of them must be changed, then it must be rewritten at the corresponding position in the same syllable-and-beat location of the original melody, to avoid rhythmic disharmony. Each stanza of this song uses one rhyme in the first two lines, and another rhyme in the last two lines, with two lines as a unit, proceeding in sequence with rhyme alternation and rhyme shifting, making the rhymes lively and dynamic.

The author attempts to rewrite two sections for reference:

〈When I Miss You〉Lyrics: Chen Qi-fei

Wind gently sways the wind chime by the window ah! longing climbs into my dreamscape.
When thinking of you, wind comes again to disturb, scattering all memories.

Rain knocks awake the sleepless rain doll ah! insects all laugh at my foolishness.
When thinking of you, tears soak emotion, how can you not feel heartache.

In the rewritten lyrics, the author still maintains the original word count, replacing the initial word “let” with “wind” and “rain” respectively, and also uses rhyme alternation and rhyme shifting, so that the line-ending rhymes of the two subsections change.

(2) Follow established meter rules

Each line ending in the original song must follow established metrical patterns (iambic corresponds to trochaic: falling pattern corresponds to rising pattern). Word choice should correspond as much as possible to the original meter, avoiding conflict and preventing musical disharmony. If the lyricist wishes to make changes, this rule must still be followed: in front and back sections, line endings must correspond as follows—iambic corresponds to trochaic; falling pattern corresponds to rising pattern. Unless the final section uses repeated melody for a reprise, the same metrical pattern should not appear twice in the same section, in order to avoid rigidity and lack of variation.

Four metrical patterns:

(A) Iambic pattern: falling–rising tone, first weak then strong, beat short then long, e.g. love, warm man, sunset glow.
(B) Trochaic pattern: rising–falling tone, first strong then weak, beat long then short, e.g. drifting, crying, scenery.
(C) Falling pattern: falling tone, pitch descends, beats short, e.g. freehand style, pain, earth.
(D) Rising pattern: level tone rising, pitch rises, beats gradually lengthen, e.g. sorrow, vicissitudes, desolation.

〈South Ping Evening Bell〉Lyrics: Fang Da / Music: Wang Fu-ling

I hurriedly walked into the forest, the forest in clusters;
I could not find his trace, only saw the trees swaying in wind. (A1 chorus)

I hurriedly walked into the forest, the forest in clusters;
I could not find his trace, only saw the South Ping bell. (A1 chorus)

South Ping bell, drifting with the wind, it seems like it is striking, striking in my heart.
South Ping evening bell, drifting with the wind, it seems like it is urging, urging my love dream awake. (B verse)

It awakens my love dream, what use is love? ~~
I walk out of the dense forest, and see the red sunset again. (variation A ending)

In this song, the melodic structure is A1, A2, B, variation A; A1 and A2 are chorus sections 1 and 2; B is the verse; the ending section repeats A but with rewritten lyrics.

“Heart’s core” in the verse ending is an iambic pattern, while “love dream” is a trochaic pattern, forming a contrasting opposition. However, the originally falling tone word “dream,” after being lengthened and raised in pitch at the ending, becomes a level tone; this is called a “tonal mutation.” Usually tonal mutation appears only at line endings, and only from falling tone to level tone. Its function is to lengthen the final beat so the rhyme becomes clearer and more distinct.

〈Green Island Serenade〉follows a similar principle:

Let my singing voice follow the gentle breeze, opening your curtain;
Let my heartfelt affection follow the flowing water, continuously speaking to you;

“Curtain” uses a rising pattern. It originally should correspond to a falling-pattern word such as “lamenting,” but a falling pattern here would make the rhythm too abrupt and short. Therefore the lyricist replaces it with “speaking earnestly,” which is a trochaic pattern, and deliberately lengthens the final sound of “speaking,” producing a tonal mutation from falling to level tone. Similarly, the word “water” in “flowing water” is also a mutated tone, used to extend the beat and correspond with “wind.”

(3) How to use the four metrical patterns within a section

Within the same section (A or B), falling pattern and trochaic pattern should not be placed at the end of the final line. In a four-line stanza, they may appear in lines 1 to 3, with one line ending using a harmony of iambic and rising pattern. In a six-line stanza, they should appear at most twice, placed at line endings 2 and 4.

In other words, the short-beat falling pattern and trochaic pattern must be interwoven between iambic and rising patterns, like “binding rings,” so that the rhythm alternates between loose and tight, slow and fast. One may imagine the shape of a long sausage: between each segment there is necessarily a “binding ring.” If unavoidable, and if they must appear at the final line ending, then the final rhyme of falling and trochaic patterns must, according to the need for extended beats and pitch, be treated through tonal mutation in the melody—raising and lengthening the falling syllable into a level tone, transforming falling and trochaic patterns into iambic patterns.

〈Fishing Song〉Lyrics: Jin Tie-zhang / Music: Jin Tie-zhang / Singer: Huang Da-cheng

In the vast boundless sea, I have a small boat, with blue sea and sky as companions.
Ah… I sail with the light boat, sailing toward the meeting of sea and sky, seagulls and gentle wind as companions.

I cast out my fishing net, like my soaring heart,
I forget worldly emotions and threads of affection, in the blue sea and sky.

Rolling river waters flow east, washing away dust and sorrow,
Joyfully seeing fish and shrimp fill the boat, warmth fills my heart.

Ah… sunset red fishing sails, joyful singing rises, freely wandering.

This song’s chorus is longer than the verse, with the form B1 B2 + A1 A2 + B3, presenting an inverted structure where verse (B) comes first and chorus (A) comes later. In the verse, the endings of the first and second subsections, “as companion” and “as company,” are both trochaic patterns. However, in order to extend the duration of the final tone, both undergo tonal mutation: the former becomes a rising pattern, the latter becomes an iambic pattern, forming a new corresponding (level–oblique) metrical structure.

(4), In a segment, how to use rhyme-shifting (zhuanyun) and rhyme-changing (huanyun): when varying, preserve predictable regularity

Within a segment, relatively common forms of rhyme-changing, generally speaking, even-numbered lines (lines four, six, eight) are more suitable for using rhyme-shifting and rhyme-changing, and may combine sequential rhyme (lines 1 and 2 share one rhyme, lines 3 and 4 share one rhyme, lines 5 and 6 share one rhyme) or alternating rhyme (lines 1 and 3 share one rhyme, lines 2 and 4 share one rhyme) plus sequential rhyme (lines 5 and 6 return to the main rhyme).

If odd-numbered line segments use rhyme-shifting or rhyme-changing, one should as far as possible use continuous rhyme; five-line segments are divided into “first two, last three,” and seven-line segments are divided into “first two, middle two, last three.” One should not use alternating rhyme such as “lines 1, 3, 5 one rhyme; lines 2, 4 another rhyme,” so as to avoid chaotic rhyme endings and the loss of “predictable regularity.”

In summary, rhyme-shifting using similar vowel finals (such as ㄢ, ㄣ, ㄤ, ㄥ), or rhyme-changing using different vowel finals (such as ㄤ and ㄚ), both share the same principle: “when varying, preserve predictable regularity.”

“〈The Last Night〉” lyrics: Shen Zhi / music: Chen Zhirong / singer: Tsai Chin

I cannot finish stepping the disturbing dance steps, I cannot finish drinking the intoxicating wine,
Who will leave this good night for me, a soft voice by my ear.

I cannot finish passing through the red and green crowds, I cannot finish seeing the rise and fall of the human sea,
Who will tell me of the past events, I face the empty bright lamps with sorrow.

I once was intoxicated in mutual affection, like butterflies dancing in flight;
I once was heartbroken in dark separation, crying down on dew-wet steps.

The red lights are about to extinguish, the wine is also awakening, at this moment I should bid it farewell,
When the song ends and the people disperse I look back once, hmm… the last night.

This song adopts the form A1 A2 + B + transformed A. In choruses A1 and A2, the lyricist uses “ㄡ” as the main line-ending rhyme, with “ㄨ” as a secondary rhyme. When it reaches verse B, the main ending rhyme is changed to “ㄝ” and is maintained throughout. In the final transformed A section, the main ending rhyme still continues to use the “ㄝ” rhyme.

“〈Autumn Cicada〉” lyrics: Li Ziheng / music: Li Ziheng / singers: Yang Fangyi & Xu Xiaojing

Listen to me calling spring water into coldness, watch me urging green leaves into yellow,
Who says autumn brings one heart full of sorrow, misty river waves and forest fields, feelings endlessly dim.
Fallen flowers, red fallen flowers, red maples turning red,
Spreading wings, soaring in pairs of geese, I in thin clothing pass through the remaining winter.

In the end it is autumn, in the end it is autumn,
Spring has gone, summer has also gone, autumn feeling is strong.
Autumn goes and winter comes, beautiful scenery is no longer, do not let good spring pass in haste,
Do not let good spring pass in haste.

In chorus (A1), in the first line ending, the word “cold” uses the ㄢ rhyme; the second line ending “yellow” shifts rhyme to the ㄤ rhyme. Then the third and fourth lines change rhyme to the ㄡ rhyme (“sorrow,” “dim”).

In chorus (A2), again the rhyme changes: the first line ending “red,” and the second line ending “maple,” both use the ㄥ rhyme. Then the third line uses the ㄢ of “geese” as a variation, and the fourth line returns to the main ㄥ rhyme (“winter”).

In the verse section, the first half uses ㄢ as the main rhyme (“heaven”), with ㄥ as a secondary rhyme (“dense”). The second half returns again to the ㄥ rhyme. The entire song’s line-ending rhymes move among “ㄢ,” “ㄤ,” and “ㄡ,” “ㄥ” (rhyme-changing), containing both rhyme-shifting between ㄢ and ㄤ, and rhyme-changing between ㄡ and ㄥ. This creates lively variation within fluidity, producing a soft and rich phonetic texture; such careful design yields a highly pleasant auditory experience.

(5), Example of rewriting foreign-language lyrics into Mandarin lyrics:

Below are two works based on Japanese song melodies, the original lyrics and the rewritten Mandarin versions:

“〈Shiosai / The Sound of Tide〉 (tidal sound)”

1
Standing at a deserted harbor, listening to the sound of waves
Body and mind both exhausted, where is the place to rely
Ah, in this city street, an unfamiliar sky
The gulls seem to mock me who embraces dreams

2
If a shooting star falls like a tear
A distant hometown calls with a whistle sound from afar
Ah, when will I return to that street
Tell my hometown family that I am well
Ah, when will I return to that street
I will bring many stories and tell them to everyone

Chinese translation:

1
Standing on the empty harbor listening to the sound of waves
Body and mind exhausted, where is reliance
Ah, in this city’s streets, unfamiliar sky
Seagulls seem to mock me who carries dreams

2
Shooting stars fall like tears
Whistle sounds call from a distant hometown
Ah, when will I return to that street
Tell my relatives at home that I am well
Ah, when will I return to that street
I will bring many experiences to tell everyone

Mandarin version lyrics: Lyrics adaptation by Chen Jinxing

1
I cannot finish speaking joy, cannot finish speaking sorrow, too many tides in my heart,
One wave rises, one layer falls, surging endlessly without stopping.

Ah~ I have already stopped caring, whether love is deep or resentment is strong,
No longer caring whether day or night arrives, only wishing the past will continue to disturb me.

2
I cannot finish speaking joy, cannot finish speaking sorrow, too many tides in my heart,
One wave rises, one layer falls, surging endlessly without stopping.

Ah~ I have already stopped caring, whether love is deep or resentment is strong,
No longer caring whether day or night arrives, only wishing the past will continue to disturb me.
Ah~ I have already stopped caring, whether love is deep or resentment is strong,
No longer caring whether day or night arrives, only wishing the past will continue to disturb me.

Compared with the original Japanese lyrics, although the Mandarin adaptation of “〈Shiosai〉” preserves the sorrowful and desolate mood of the original and also maintains the main scene of “tide,” the lyrics are not only reduced to a single repeated structure in both verse and chorus, but even the concluding repetition is simply reused. In contrast, the Japanese lyricist carefully constructs variation in every section, both in lyrical expression and narrative structure. The Mandarin lyrics complete less than half of the original craftsmanship; such careless work makes it impossible to feel the effort or talent of the Mandarin lyricist.

Next, another widely circulated film theme song is introduced: “〈Namida Sōsō / Tears Overflowing〉”.

“〈Namida Sōsō〉” Japanese lyrics Lyrics: Ryoko Moriyama / Music: Begin

Furui arubamu mekuri arigatō tte tsubuyaita
Itsumo itsumo mune no naka hagemashite kureru hito yo
Harewataru hi mo ame no hi mo ukabu ano egao
Omoide tooku asete mo
Omoigage sagashite yomigaeru hi wa namida sōsō
Ichiban boshi ni inoru sore ga watashi no kuse ni nari
Yūgure ni miageru sora kokoro ippai anata sagasu
Kanashimi ni mo yorokobi ni mo omou ano egao
Anata no basho kara watashi ga mieta ra
Kitto itsuka aeru to shinjite ikite yuku
Harewataru hi mo ame no hi mo ukabu ano egao
Omoide tooku asete mo
Samishikute koishikute kimi e no omoi namida sōsō
Ai takute ai takute kimi e no omoi namida (nada) sōsō

Chinese translation:

Turning the old album pages, I whispered “thank you”
The person who always, always encourages me in my heart
That smiling face that appears whether it is sunny or rainy
Even if memories fade far away
When I search for that image and memories revive, tears overflow
Praying to the first star has become my habit
Gazing at the sky at dusk, my heart searches entirely for you
That smiling face remembered in both sorrow and joy
If from your place you could see me
I believe we will surely meet someday and continue living
That smiling face that appears whether it is sunny or rainy
Even if memories fade far away
Lonely and longing, my feelings for you—tears overflow
Wanting to see you, wanting to see you, my feelings for you—tears overflow

“〈Stay With Me While I Watch the Sunrise〉” Mandarin lyrics 1 Lyrics: Liang Wenfu / Music: Begin

The scent of rain is the small road home
On the road I chase your footsteps
Old photographs preserve yesterday’s temperature
You hold me like a warm tree
When rain falls, walk the good road—these words I remember
No matter how strong the wind blows, it cannot blow away blessings
After the rain there is a road, like that year watching the sunrise
You held my hand, passing through the fog
Telling me hope lies at the end of the night
Crying eyes see time more clearly
Thinking of someone with tearful light is a kind of happiness
I return to the afternoon when I left home
You saw me off, and leaves filled the sky and flew everywhere

When using foreign-language melodies for lyric writing, one must pay attention to keeping the number of syllables as close as possible to the original number of musical notes; it may be slightly reduced by one or two characters, using a sustained note on one character to cover it.

These two Mandarin lyrics both use the melody of “〈Namida Sōsō〉” for lyric adaptation. Their artistic conception is similar, but their diction each has its own characteristics: the first is restrained yet full of genuine emotion, while the second is deeply affectionate. Both lyricists are highly dedicated.

Second, lyric writing:

From my experience, lyric adaptation (filling lyrics) has a pre-existing main melody as its “blueprint,” while lyric writing (original songwriting) is creation from nothing. It seems freer for the author, but is actually more difficult than “filling lyrics,” because the lyricist must conceive what form the lyrics should take and still follow the same rules as lyric adaptation.

1. Several common melodic structures:

(1) A is the chorus, B is the verse, C is the ending section.

The chorus A melody will always repeat and may even be used as the ending; the two chorus sections may be identical or only slightly varied. The verse B has greater variation; its melody may appear only once. If it appears twice, it may be mistaken for a chorus. The chorus is mainly lyrical, creating atmosphere; the verse narrates and describes scenery, forming the core of the theme.

(1) A1 + A2 + B

“〈Bronze Rose〉” Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu

A traveler exhausted in the vast yellow sand
You are a bronze rose
In the turning chapters you bud and bloom
Legend says you are the reincarnation of a noble consort
Tang dynasty officials became haggard for you
Your love is so intense
Who can endure wind and rain beating
Who has ever embraced whom
Even at the cost of the last drop of blood
Still not allowing you to wither from this moment on
In the revolving mixed-toned melody
In the story you are the unattainable cousin
Song dynasty Lu You was heartbroken for you
You are a deeply affectionate flower bud
Those with love cry for you
Those without love regret for you
Leaving the capital with a body full of scars
A thin horse in the west wind walks into the horizon at dusk
Perhaps you hear a desolate song
That is my body temperature after waking from a dream
From a thousand years away carried by flocks of geese
I am that bowl of merciless empty wisdom water
When you are reborn, kiss me
At the end of the sunset, another cycle of reincarnation

Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/4081623

Variant: A1 A2 + B + transformed A

“〈Blue Tears〉” Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu

Waves shatter upon uneasy reefs
Crystal droplets blossom into roses
The azure sea condenses into a single bud
In your eyes, a drop of blue tear
Blue tears are deep affection and regret
The love given is so exhausting
As if ocean currents are destined for brief convergence
Rather in the next life it becomes a beautiful reincarnation
Your sorrow is understood by seagulls
My helplessness is never understood
Dwelling in your mind, that silhouette
Is a blooming bud that never withers
Standing beside you, the one who loves you—me
Is a drop of deep and unrepentant blue tear

Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2666292

(2) A1+B1+A2+B2
〈In the Next Life I Wish to Be Your Wife〉 Mandarin Version / Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
The vast blue sky, autumn wind rises, yellow leaves fill the ground
Lingering memories that refuse to leave, sleepless autumn rain
Thoughts of longing, with nowhere to send, flying geese stepping on snow mud
Just like sorrowful feelings in dreams, a night of falling red rain
The original oath of trust, unexpectedly is the cycle of many lives
Returning to you a bowl of merciless tears, why should fallen flowers pursue flowing water
The bitter cup of love, wine does not intoxicate but people intoxicate themselves
Returning to you a ladle of forgetfulness water, as clothes and belts gradually widen yet there is no regret
Autumn waters green, misty waves rise, the blue birds leave no trace
Lingering autumn feelings that do not depart, cold rain knocking on the window
Love is connected, hearts are pledged, remembering each other long in dreams
How can it compare to the annoying language of flowers, a thousand mountains echoing wild geese crying
Butterflies’ colorful garments, gracefully dancing beauty
Feeding on flowers and drinking dew, leaning and relying on each other, in violent wind and heavy rain not abandoning each other
An unsolvable problem, nothing is sadder than life and death separation
In this life there is no fate to form a marriage bond, in the next life I wish to be your wife
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2738903

〈In the Next Life I Wish to Be Your Household Wife〉 Taiwanese Version Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
Autumn wind rises, when leaves fall, birds outside the window cry
Lonely and solemn night, autumn rain falls and cannot leave
Secret hidden longing, not forgetting nor delaying, raindrops outside the window drip
Thinking of when I first met you, it was also in autumn
Love entwined in affection, only then knowing the taste of sorrow
Misunderstandings made you angry, careless words and reckless speech broke us apart
Sorrowful love sings poetry, poetry lines like spitting out threads of love
Each line and sentence is longing, hoping you return to my side
Frost wind cold, rain does not stop, completely without mood
Dim street lamps in a foreign land, a drifting half-life
Thinking of earlier times when we were together, sweet scenes
Your figure before my eyes, now it is a dream
Bitter wine swallowed down the throat, joy and sorrow parting cannot be calculated
Hearing the wind howling outside the window, seeing the scene brings sadness and tears flow
Two-person pillow, no fate to accompany you to old age
If in this life I leave first, in the next life I wish to be your household wife
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2748770

The same form, using two languages respectively to write lyrics, is quite challenging. Beginners can practice this kind of one-topic-two-forms writing method to enhance their creative ability.

(3) A1+A2+B1+B2
〈The Distance of a Dream〉 Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
After falling in love, the pledged lifetime
Exactly how far a road is waiting for us?
A thousand springs, an entire century?
Perhaps, it is the distance of a dream
If the dream is continued
Then one will not be attached to past lives, the memory of reincarnation
After knowing each other, supporting each other for life
Is there a vast rivers and lakes that will take us in?
A thousand spring sails, a river of spring water
Perhaps, it is the distance of a wall
If the wall is pushed down
Then there will be no longer sorrow about this life, the rising and falling tides
The distance of a dream
Even if we are at the ends of the earth
Enduring bleak wind and bitter rain
Our hearts still lean against and rely on each other
It is the tacit consent of mountains and water, neither gathering nor separating
The distance of a dream
Even if the road of love in the future
Is ambushed with sharp thorns
Our love still holds and connects us
It is the pursuit of sun and moon, neither approaching nor abandoning
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/3665947

(4) A1+B1+A2+variant B; variant form: A1+A2+B+C
〈Dreams in the Mortal World〉 / Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
From the day I met you
My wandering heart found refuge
Your gentleness is so familiar
As if memories left from a previous life
The mortal world has dreams, you are in my dream
With charming smile, graceful and clear singing voice
At midnight in dreams, I am moved beyond control
Beautiful eyes looking forward, pupils mysterious and blurred
At the moment of waking from dreams, I reflect and cannot help sighing
In some distant century
We were once a pair of lovers
Your beauty my poetic brush
Together composing a legend
That was a lifelong bond without regret
That was a romantic love game
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2272666

Variant form: A1+A2+B+C

〈Weaving Dreams〉 Taiwanese Hokkien Lyrics / Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
You come to pull threads, I come to weave dreams
You say dreams are sorrow, dreams are worry
Dreams are the time every time of waking up
There is a faint bit of heart heaviness, a little pain
Like spring rain, dripping drop by drop onto the heart
I come to pull threads, you come to weave dreams
I say dreams are rain, dreams are dew
Dreams are the time every time of waking up
Unable to find the door of past life, the road of this life
Like clouds and mist, hazily covering in front of the eyes
This kind of dream how to open its mouth?
Better to leave it inside memory, letting the record needle turn round and round to perform
This piece of love how to resolve?
Return and sit outside the background, watching how others act and perform
Ah! What is love, what is fate
I only stand outside the dream silently watching
Watching past events like a thin thread of smoke
Waves and waves ah waves and waves floating up to the sky……
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2213933

(5) A1+A2+B1+B2+A3
〈Sleepless Autumn Night〉 Taiwanese Hokkien Lyrics / Lyrics: Chen Qufei / Music: Xiao Fengnu
Sleepless autumn night
A single lonely wild goose stands outside the window
Why does it cry out with sorrowful calling sound
Disturbing my heart’s shackles
Sleepless autumn night
The sound of wind and rain pacing outside the window
Who is it singing a desolate song
Unable to find its figure
Sleepless autumn night, moonlight comes to accompany me
I play the guitar singing out a lingering love song
My beloved she lives next door to me
Has she heard my voice of seeking love
Sleepless autumn night, fireflies come to accompany me
She is a lovely beautiful generous young lady
She lives just downstairs next to me
But I still do not know her name
Sleepless autumn night, I am alone with my solitary shadow
Standing outside the window, listening to the autumn cicadas’ sorrowful song
The cold frosty wind and rain sound
Is exactly my heart’s shackles at this moment
Song link: http://blog.udn.com/yah660730yah660730/2984225

1. Must-follow rules
   (1) Regardless of form used, the Refrain should be lyrical and imagistic to create atmosphere. The refrain is repeatedly revolving, and may even follow the verse as a conclusion; the Verse is mainly narrative and scenic description, with less melodic repetition. Even when repeated, the lyrics will replace lexical items on the surface form, and adjust the subsequent melody, and in syllable and beat length, as much as possible create variation.

(2) The refrain must as much as possible, in “lexical and part-of-speech” structure, through symmetry or contrast produce melodic harmony, and furthermore, the two sections of refrain in relation to “syllable beat count,” especially when using prepositions (from, to, toward, by, at, in, etc.), conjunctions (and, with, although, because, even if, etc.), structural particles (of, to, -ly, etc.), dynamic particles (already, ongoing, experienced, etc.), and sentence-final particles (of, already, huh, eh, ah, etc.), must in identical positions maintain symmetrical relations.

(3) When using rhyme shifting and rhyme changing, within the same stanza it should be applied according to the number of lines with careful judgment. A four-line stanza may shift or change rhyme only once; a six-line stanza may shift or change each at most once (i.e., cumulatively twice). Regardless of how many times rhyme shifting is used, the final line’s ending rhyme should preferably return to the most frequently used “main rhyme.”

〈Song of Borderlands〉 Lyrics: Xi Murong / Music: Li Nanhua

Please sing for me a Song of Borderlands
Using those ancient words that have been forgotten……yu rhyme
Please use beautiful trembling tones to gently call out
The great rivers and mountains in my heart…………an rhyme
That fragrance only found outside the Great Wall
Who says the melody of border songs is too sorrowful……ang rhyme
If you do not love listening
That is because within the song there is no desire of yours……ang rhyme

And we always must sing again and again
Thinking of grasslands stretching a thousand miles flashing golden light
Thinking of wind and sand howling across the desert
Thinking of the Yellow River bank ah beside Mount Yinshan
Heroes riding horses in strength, riding horses returning gloriously to their hometown

This “Song of Borderlands” chorus section uses three ending rhymes in sequence, shifting from “yu” to “an”, then shifting rhyme again to “ang”; the verse section likewise uses the main rhyme “ang”.

(4) Within the same stanza (A or B), the use of rhyme shifting or changing must have “predictable regularity.” For example, in a six-line stanza:
Interleaved rhyme: lines 1,3,5 and 2,4,6 each take a rhyme
Sequential rhyme: lines 1,2,3 and 4,5,6 or 1,2 and 3,4 and 5,6 each take a rhyme
Segmented rhyme: each segment takes its own rhyme

〈Four Rhymes of Homesickness〉 Lyrics: Yu Guangzhong / Music: Luo Dayou
Give me a dipper of Yangtze River water ah Yangtze River water
That wine-like Yangtze River water
That drunken taste is the taste of homesickness
Give me a dipper of Yangtze River water ah Yangtze River water

Give me a piece of begonia red ah begonia red
That blood-like begonia red
That boiling-blood burning pain is the burning pain of homesickness
Give me a piece of begonia red ah begonia red

Give me a piece of snowflake white ah snowflake white
That letter-like snowflake white
That waiting for a family letter is the waiting of homesickness
Give me a piece of snowflake white ah snowflake white

Give me a branch of wintersweet fragrance ah wintersweet fragrance
That mother-like wintersweet fragrance
That mother’s fragrance is the fragrance of homeland
Give me a branch of wintersweet fragrance ah wintersweet fragrance

(5) Within the same stanza (A or B stanza), taking a six-line stanza as an example, rising-falling meter and level-rising meter are generally placed at the end of lines, especially the final line of the stanza is mostly these two meters.
Falling-rising meter and rising-falling meter cannot be used at the end of the final line; they may be placed at line endings from lines 1 to 5, interwoven with rising-falling and level-rising meters.
Falling-rising and rising-falling meters are generally placed within the line, followed by rising-falling or level-rising meters to form pitch and rhythmic fluctuation of high and low, fast and slow. If these two meters are placed at line endings, then the next line ending must be rising-falling or level-rising, forming a contrast of opposites (fast vs slow).
If falling-rising and rising-falling meters are placed at the final line ending of a stanza, they must be transformed through phonetic variation into rising-falling meter.

For example:
〈Returning Home in the Sunset〉 Lyrics: Ye Jiaxiu / Music: Ye Jiaxiu
I see you far away at the edge of the sunset……rising-falling meter
Holding a small floral sun umbrella……rising-falling meter
The evening wind scatters your long hair……falling-rising meter, the final word “scatters” is a modified tone word, changed to first tone
Half-covering your flushed face……rising-falling meter

I seem to be a tired returning sail……level-rising meter
Swaying and sliding toward your raised arms……rising-falling meter
The sky has urgent calls echoing……falling-rising meter
After parting, are you still safe……falling-rising meter, the word “safe” is a tone-changing word, changed to first tone

Come, let us walk hand in hand……rising-falling meter
Pursuing the steps of the sunset……falling meter, “steps” is a tone-changing word, changed to first tone
Walking along the forest path……falling meter, “path” is a tone-changing word, changed to first tone
Brushing past the clear stream……rising-falling meter
There is a small little dwelling……level-rising meter
Waiting for us to return stepping into the sunset……falling-rising meter, the word “return” is a tone-changing word, changed to first tone

After analyzing the tone pattern of each line ending, the following rules are summarized:
1 In chorus A1 section, the falling-rising meter is placed at the end of the third line; the final word “scatters” is a tone-changing word, changed to first tone to create interleaving variation.
2 In chorus A2 section, tonal-rhythmic variation increases; falling-rising meter is placed at the end of the third and fourth lines; both ending words are tone-changing words to allow longer rhythm.
3 In verse section, tonal variation is greater; the second and third lines both end with falling meter; the ending words “steps” and “path” are tone-changing words to allow extended rhythm. The final line ends with rising-falling meter, and its ending word also uses tone-changing for extension. After tonal transformation, falling-rising and rising-falling meters are converted into rising-falling meter (such as “steps”) or level-rising meter (such as “path”).