Sorry I did not make myself clearly understood during last talk with you due to time and my limit of English expression. What I wanted to argue is not questioning both of your judgment, nor your sense of responsibility or defending my kid, but questioning that you may fail to perceive the difference between the two culture backgrounds, which most likely will lead to a bad combination of two education system but not good of the two system. That is why I said “does she fully understand you?” or some other words which may cause you confusion, such as when I said “I have been dealing with people for over 20 years” what I mean is that I have been tried to understand the culture difference between Chinese and western for 20 years, so in that aspect I am a bit quite sure of myself that I know more than many local Chinese and many westerners.

I write to you simply want to make myself better understood and help you understand better the differences, which may help you at your work.

1)      Role of teacher.

In Chinese view embedded in Genes for thousands years of history, Chinese view teacher as one of the most respected authority and regard teacher as second parents of students. Which lead to several facts that quite common among Chinese system.

 a), It is quite RARE that parents question teachers. Most likely teacher view questioning to teacher as a challenge to them and in traditional system the challenge does not end up good.

 b), Perception of responsibility and actions. Traditionally teacher acts as a judger and It is their responsibility that teacher in school to take excessive measures to make sure not a tiny single bad thing can happen among kids. Which is worsen due to one Child policy because there were lots of parents to trouble school or hospital if they think teachers are not fair with their kids. Lots of stories had happened In the past few years, which in turn make school tighten the already small growing space for kids. No much growing space allowed for kids in Chinese education system is a well known and about to be solved problem by education reform. The gov knows it exactly and clearly, it is one of the biggest challenge for the future of the country.

Allowing more space for kids to grow is the best part of western education system. I can imagine how a western teacher handle or manage students conflicts. If a western teacher catches two students are arguing or see something bad may happen, most likely what will happen next is like this(if I am wrong correct me please): “ do you guys have any trouble?”. Most likely the conflicting kids will both respond “No, we are good, we are just kidding”. “Don’t ask for trouble or you will face consequence”.

If the teacher perceives the conflicting kids do have serious trouble, most likely he will call them to office, give them the space or help them to resolve by themselves until they fix their problem, at least the teacher make sure no serious problems will occur between them then let them go. If the teacher feel he can’t fix the problem he will report to headmaster, it is the headmaster’s call to make final decision. If this happens, the headmaster realize that something serious happened.

Due to traditional reason, Chinese either parents or teachers don’t fully understand their role change over time in society. The role has changed profoundly in business society during the fast development of Chinese economy, but not much in school yet. In business situation everyone is hired to solve problem but not to create problem. If you can’t solve your problem you will report to your superior to handle. I believe what you think in the kids conflicts case is that you may think the teacher can’t handle the conflict, she is asking you for help or to make decision. But honestly I am not quite sure about this. Chinese subconscious habits is that they like to report everything to their superior as a show of responsibility. In western or in modern Chinese business society the reporting means two things: for your acknowledgement/for your eyes or asking for help. If it is the latter the superior or boss will jump in to understand the full picture and make decision.

2)      Problem differences between west and China in school

From what I understand the severe problems at school what the west countries face are violence, discrimination, alcohol. They are not common problems in China. Chinese parents usually has zero tolerance to kid about those thanks to strict traditional Paternalistic management either in school or at home. The side effects of Chinese style management is that usually Chinese teacher or family failed to differentiate a naughty behavior from a trouble behavior, a naughty kid from a trouble kid. And over emphasizing on school performance or scores blur the difference deeper. Almost all Chinese teacher and parents like the obedient good performance kids but view those naughty kids as some kind of trouble. The opinion has changed profoundly among professional career in china for long also but it does not change much in Chinese education system. At work those who achieves top performance are often those naughty curious kids at school but not those obediently good performance ones. Trouble kids usually suffer from more or less mental or psychological issues, he needs to acquire some kind satisfaction from his/her action/expression, which bullying exactly means from what I understand. A naughty kid however usually only mischief or argue/behave in not properly manners without the need to acquire mental/psychical satisfaction or malicious intention to see the other side in deep trouble.

The problems western country school faces in fact are TROUBLE kids but not naughty kids, western teachers are qualified to distinguish between them due to long period of social evolvement but it is a bit hard for Chinese teacher to realize or understand them because Chinese society does not experience those problems much yet and Chinese system does not really know them much yet. However rare cases did happened in 2010---a grade 3 student killed 8 people, occasionally there were cases that student jump off from building. These cases are not common but they do alert the education and professional system aware that with the more and more competition stress putted on the young single child generation, psychological health should draw more attention from schools. That is the core what I want to argue with you that Chinese teachers should learn the good part of western education system by coaching students on how to deal with conflicts properly by peaceful means. The single child generation really need to learn this or else they may encounter serious personal problem in the future.

In short, western school problems are not common in Chinese system. But Chinese system does has it own serious problems and they have rooted culture reasons. There is a Chinese saying 法不责众, means the rules can not punish anyone if everyone break the rules. Plagiarism/cheating is one of this kind, due to nearly 200 years of dysfunctional governmental authority; Excessive private freedom is another issue which makes people don’t follow social rules. Long time poverty makes people compete for limited resources without taking other people’s feeling into account is another issue too. Also Chinese has a lot to learn about discipline.

But situation is changing. Chinese government determined to restore the society into a rule/law based society. Strict measures are being deployed to enforce that. For example if you has a bad record on your travel either oversea or domestically, the person is banned to board high speed rail or airplane or applying for a passport for some time. If you have several records you maybe banned for good. Laws are deployed to protect school teachers and hospital doctors from those unreasonable harassment from unreasonable family members. The society is changing profoundly in every aspects but Chinese educational system does not catch up yet. I am sure soon you will see how the domestic education system change.

3)      Rules and Penalty

I know exactly what rules mean and how important it is in modern society. Frankly I know exactly what Chinese miss in this aspect, as I write on last part. What I care is to make sure that rules and penalty matches for every action of breaking rules with taking consideration of social reality. Penalty should be made based on facts and perception of potential seriousness of the problem. If cheating is a common problem then severe penalty should be imposed as that does not conform with either social regulation. If you perceive some kids have the tendency of violence or bullying, parents should know this and ask doctor for help even he does not break any rules, it is an early stage warning. If normal or naughty kids have conflicts it is better to coach them to learn how to deal with conflicts, and punishment to them like push-ups or run on play field or whatever allowing them to learn behave properly but not killing their naughty side is key to them. In western school bullying is common problem so strict measures are taken to cure that; In china cheating is but no serious measures are taking yet. What I worry about is western management and Chinese teachers don’t really understand each other’s real responsibilities and real thinking logic which leads to a misunderstanding that both sides are not aware of. From my experience working in multi culture environment I am aware that only when you understand the hidden thinking logic and the hidden social role the person played in his culture background you can really understand each other precisely. If I put the question larger you will see Chinese elites understand US precisely, but obviously little if not none Americans understand Chinese. I’ve tried to imbue my theory to my boy since his primary school however I found it does not help because he can only repeat my words but he does not understand exactly what they mean. Western education system allows kids to grow by error testing and correction but Chinese system does not give them room for errors due to lots of reasons. Gradually I realize that learning is not about seeking truth but a process of self awareness and self correction.

I hope what I write is helpful for you to understand, I do expect your success. I write another article on why china is always misinterpreted in fact it is a culture analysis, if you are interested I can send you by email. If what I understand is not correct I do hope to get your feedback for my improvement. I am happy to learn.