米國法律笑料(三)- 最有力的回馬槍
2013/05/29 12:29
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米國法律笑料(三)- 最有力的回馬槍
Two of the Year’s Best Comeback Responses
“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之1
在美國律師是高收入的職業，但不十分受人尊重，因而有很多律師的笑話。
假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....
問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
答：我相信，我以人格保證。
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
答：是的，上鎖！
A: 'Yes, sir.'
問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為會得獎。
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....
問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
答：我相信，我以人格保證。
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題。上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
問：那你們有帶鎖的櫃子在更衣室嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
答：我們有的！
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
答：是的，上鎖！
A: 'Yes, sir.'
問：好, 這是為什麼, 警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的“最給力的反唇相譏”獎。我們認為會得獎。
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
“最給力的回馬一槍”答辯之2
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍. . .
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
在最近的一次訪問中，诺曼施瓦茨科普夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）被問到他是否有可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。
In a recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
以其經典的施瓦茨科普方式回答，
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
將軍說，”我相信原諒他們是上帝的事…而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面”
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... Our job is to arrange the meeting."
迴響（5） ：
5樓. 雲明2013/06/01 07:47拍案叫絕！
I believe that forgiving them is God's function ... Our job is to arrange the meeting.Short and sweet, to the point...一針見血、一鎗斃命！ 金大俠 於 2013/06/01 10:30回覆
4樓. reaizuguo*😻2013/05/31 08:30切磋一下
classic 作“經典的 或經典式的”解，也可作“高級的”解。把它譯為“典型的”， 有貶低 classic 這個字之嫌。
若是要表達“典型的”之意思，英文則應用“typical”
立即更正，萬分感謝你的指正。
金大俠 於 2013/05/31 08:55回覆
3樓. 多硯坊 (休)2013/05/30 10:05夠給力
機智加口才
回答會有律師經過
以及安排他們與上帝見面
忍不住為兩人的機智與幽默喝采
謝謝硯坊兄來訪喝彩，你大作久久未出，很期待呀！ 金大俠 於 2013/05/30 11:50回覆
2樓. pearlz （民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO ）2013/05/30 06:11那個法庭的律師
的問話聽起來很熟悉，這不是台灣媒體最喜歡問話的問題典型嗎？
可惜台灣被訪問的官員回答媒體的時候，不夠機警，總是立刻被媒體上銬！
唇槍舌劍、反唇相譏，要考機智、知識、學識，臺灣的官員們這一方面普遍訓練不足•••唉 金大俠 於 2013/05/30 07:45回覆又，金溥聰(目前在華府）倒是極強！ 金大俠 於 2013/05/30 07:47回覆
1樓. 張鳳哈佛 哈佛問學錄 得首獎2013/05/29 19:53祖 籍 的 江 南 方 言 中 有 謂 [壞 訟 師 ],大 抵 就 是這 種 觀 念 ...
...
訟，為公義而言，原是好事，訟師也也是好人，好人而泯滅天良去做壞事，而有壞訟師•••唉！ 金大俠 於 2013/05/30 07:40回覆
