Hi, NiuNiu

These days, I am very nervous, and of course, very hard to control myself.  I am so sorry that I shouted at you and YiYi many times.

You both are so different, different things make me worried from your birth till .......ah, endless...

When I was little, I played by myself very often.  One day, I saw two kids in the sky, one in blue, one in pink.  They flew and turned their faces to me, smiled....I never forgot it.  I remember when YiYi was about two years old, she told me one day, she said, mom, I was in the sky, I saw you were crying, so I came to protect you.  And even when you were about the same age, you told me the same thing, you said, mom, I was in the sky, I saw you were not happy, so I came to make you happy.   And I was so protected by YiYi, and also I was so happy because of you.  So you kept your promise to come to me, protect me, and make me happy.

I do not know when I was changed, so easy to be nervous, and ridiculous behaviour happened very often.  I could hardly sit on the chair for the dentist checking my teeth.  I was shaking when I went to the hospital for some test.  I need to check windows, doors, oven, stove many times at night.  And I was very easy to give you a poker face even you have 19/20 mark......it is so ridiculous......

Especially for this big exam coming  tomorrow.  The city bus still take their strike, so no buses, I need to ask someone to take us to the church on time.  And cancel all YiYi's students on Saturday afternoon.  And I do not even know we can go to the teacher's place for the last review.   I almost exhausted. 

Your Huei mommy always asks me, must relax, do not be angry at you, take more rest.... I don't know if she is your "real" mom, what she would do?  Or will you be happier and work harder with her?  You and me are not sure, right?

I need to recall the memories about "myself".  I was a child who can talk to nobody all day long; I was a girl that can stay at home, go nowhere for whole summer vacation; I can easily ignore anybody I was not interested in; I can read at the bookstores without eating anything all day.....where am "I" now?
I have been lost for a long time.......

After tonight, after tomorrow, I need to take more rest....
By the way, you need to return books to the library on Sunday, and please give them to YiYi if you can not go, she can help.  And we will go to see Lene's family Sunday night to say good bye to them.  And maybe Sunday morning we will go to Katarina and Igor's house to chant together.
So many things to remind, so many things to do......
I really need a break....

Good luck......

Love~
mom