Evy Poumpouras TED Talk: Controlling Your Life
Transcript Key Segments
1. Introduction: From Secret Service to Mentoring
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[00:07] "I began my career as a former special agent with the United States Secret Service... I did interviews and interrogations. After I left, I wrote my book Becoming Bulletproof."
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[00:40] "People began writing into me with questions... Evy, I want to ask my boss for a raise, but Im afraid. ... I found a pattern: they were all at the core struggling with common issues—inhibitors that caused them to be stuck."
2. Inhibitor 1: Youre Not That Special
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[01:54] "First inhibitor: Youre not that special. We may like to think of ourselves as special... but when you think of yourself as being special, it means youre separate from everyone else."
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[03:03] "I make my problems special, my pain is special... and when you feel like that, there are higher rates of depression and anxiety because you feel alone in the world. Youre not that special—and that means youre not alone."
3. Confidence is Overrated
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[04:40] "Evy, I need confidence... Im going to tell you something: Confidence is overrated. You dont need it."
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[05:01] "People want confidence so they can do something... instead of just doing it, they go on this wild journey to find confidence. You dont need it. And you dont need motivation. Motivation equals mediocrity."
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[06:41] "I had zero motivation to wake up every morning for training... I did it anyway. When you do things, that’s when confidence and motivation come in."
4. You Are Nobodys Prey
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[07:35] "Another common inhibitor is the mindset of being a victim or feeling like prey."
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[08:00] Evy mentions a study where convicts picked "prey" based on how people walked. They picked timid people or those with sloppy, unaware strides.
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[09:12] "They didnt pick people who walked deliberately with conviction... You become what you think of yourself. You are nobodys prey."
5. Fear is Not Your Identity
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[09:47] "Fear is a good thing... but fear is an emotion. Like any emotion, it comes and it goes. Dont label yourself as a fearful person. Labels are for clothing, not for people."
6. Resilience vs. Healing
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[11:04] "You dont need to heal to be resilient. Resilience means I go through something hard, and I am able to recover—to go back to who I was pre-stressor."
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[12:32] "The more difficult things you do, the more resilient you become because you measure your bounce-back rate."
7. Two Near-Death Experiences (9/11 and Childbirth)
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[13:28] "The first time I thought I was going to die was on 9/11... As the tower started to collapse, I thought: Theres so much I didnt do. I didnt live. I prayed: If I make it, Im going to live so that next time death comes, Ill be okay to go."
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[14:43] 20 years later, during childbirth, she faced complications again. "This time I thought: Im okay to go. I have done everything I wanted to do. I didnt let these inhibitors keep me from living."
Conclusion
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[16:13] "When its your time to go, youre not going to think about your cars or money. Youre going to think: Did I live? Am I okay to go? ... You dont need confidence to do anything. Do it anyway."
