Yi-chun,

You may consider modifying your response into what's presented below.

Loud sounds annoy me most when I try to concentrate on something.

Loud sounds distract me from my task and make me inefficient at work. 

Xu-chen,

Please pay attention to the usage of "annoy" and 'hate."

When I am trying to concentrate on something, I don't get annoyed by loud noise.

Howver, I hate people bothering me while I try to concentrate on my task.

My little brother always does that!

Ying-zhu,

Please consider changing your answers into the following.

When I am trying to concentrate on something, noise annoys me.

I don't like someone who keeps talking to me while I am trying to concentrate.

Fang-yi,

Pay attention to your verb and subject agreement.

I hate the person who makes big noise.

Also, consider changing your second sentence into the following.

I can't concentrate on something with noise around.

Yi-xin,

Please consider t he following modification.

When I am trying to concentrate on something, big noise annoys me most.

I usually feel disturbed when I hear loud noise.

Loud noise distracts me from my tasks.

Wen-chi,

Be aware of the usage of "annoy."

Consider the following answer.

When I am trying to concentrate on my studies or tasks, I find ring tones from cellphones very annoying.

The sharp and loud ring tones distracted me from my tasks.

We should try to maintain a quiet space by paying attention to our cellphone use etiquette.

Lily,

Good job done in general!

You may change last sentence into~

When I try to concentrate on my studies, even very small sounds bother me.