So, hi! I'm not divorced!

As it turns out, today's court date was a hearing. About money. Which I do not have and also, coincidentally, will not receive. I really should have married for money since the love thing DID NOT WORK OUT.

However, I'm thinking of charging money for entrance into my own personal freakshow, which includes but is not limited to the following:

1. One husband who is divorcing me who shaved off his goatee after I made fun of it in the Drunk Dial to end all Drunk Dials.

2. One blemish the size of a small pumpkin growing out of the side of my face.