I just walked around the office and I’m pretty sure my feet didn’t touch the ground once. Also, my head feels like it weighs 39 lbs.

Gotta love Dayquil.

P.S. Dear flu bug: Um, I specifically got the flu shot to avoid contact with you this year and yet here you are – less than two weeks later – at my doorstep, bags in hand. What’s up with that?

Anyway, I think I have successfully starved you out of my body by feeding you only Dayquil capsules for two days, so could you please stop pushing on my eyeballs, because they feel like they’re going to pop out of my sockets at any moment, and that would really impede the editing of this 44-page document I’m working on. Thanks.