終於

終於知道

有些人是得不到的

像在半路寄丟的神秘禮物

只留一張錯誤的掛號通知單

 

終於知道

他是深深愛你的

但他卻像生命中

誤存的一大筆財產

你毫不在乎的那些「0」

是他心血的億萬

你隨手拋棄的銅板

 

終於知道

不得理解的某些事

就像康熙字典裡的古字

有其簡單的道理

但有人偏偏用了這難懂的符號

使它成為謎題

 

終於說了不該說的話

真實替代假面；

終於被人知道

長久說謊的那人

比較慈善恭良

比較親切 是個好人

 

終於還是這樣

錯過想寫的一首詩

錯過城隍廟的籤詩

以致和第二個人認識

和第七個人戀愛

和最後的陌生人結婚

錯過和總統的婚外情

錯過和超級明星的誹聞

錯過和歐蘭朵做愛的夜晚

錯生一個性別倒錯的

三島．佛洛依德．吳爾芙．達利

 

終於看見整個人生

遇見了這些人

發生一些事情

而從沒遇見的那些人

終於還是錯過那些未發生的歷史

 

 

我該不會是錯過

整個原來應該有的

另一種人生吧

 

At Last

 

At last I realize

Some people you simply can't have

Like a mysterious gift lost in the mail

Leaving behind a fortuitous registration slip

 

At last I know

He did love me deeply

But he was a huge fortune deposited by mistake

Those zeros meant nothing to him

Billions of hard-earned dollars

Were thrown away casually like coins

 

At last I understand

Those incomprehensible events

Are like archaic words in the Kangxi Dictionary

They are simple in principle

But expressed in arcane symbols

Turning into riddles

 

At last I said something I shouldn't have

Honesty replaces falsehood

At last people discover

The one who has seemed bad

Is a good person

Kinder more modest more loving

 

At last nothing changes

I missed a poem I meant to write

Missed a divinatory verse at the local shrine

As a result I met the second guy

Fell in love with the seventh guy

And married a total stranger

I missed an affair with the president

A scandal involving a superstar

I missed a night of lovemaking with Orlando

And giving birth to a gender-confused

Mishima, Freud, Woolf, Dali

 

At last I have seen all of life

Have met these people

Experienced certain things

But having never met those people

I missed the history of that which never happened

 

Have I missed

A whole other life

That should have been?