中式英文:
Let's discuss what went wrong during the post-mortem so that we can do better next time.
(讓我們在檢討會中討論哪裡出錯,下次才能做得更好。)
改錯研析:
1. Let's have a post-mortem to find out what went wrong.
2. Let's have a post-mortem to find possible solutions to the problems.
(1) post-mortem 屬「英式英語」,有雙重字義,一個是「驗屍」,也就是「美式英語」的 autopsy,另一個則是「檢討會」,相當於「美式英語」的 after action review (AAR)。原句應該是中文直譯,使得句意偏向「驗屍」,而非「檢討會」。
(2) post-mortem 如果當成「檢討會」,字義中已有「討論」(discuss) 和「哪裡出錯」(what went wrong) 的意涵, 因此無需在句中贅述 discuss what went wrong during the post-mortem,否則「及物動詞」discuss 的「受詞」是「名詞子句」what went wrong during the post-mortem,那麼意思就變成「討論驗屍過程出了什麼問題」。
(3) post-mortem 當「檢討會」時,在沒有上下文的情況下,必須述明被檢討的活動或計畫,如以下 Merriam-Webster 和 Dictionary.com 例句:
a. Party leaders are conducting a postmortem of the election to try to find out what went wrong.
b. When the convention is over, we'll have a postmortem to find ways of improving it for next year.
上述例句被檢討的活動分別為 election 和 convention,因此原句宜進一步更改為:
1. Let's have a post-mortem to find out what went wrong with the audio system during the conference call.
2. Let's have a post-mortem to find possible solutions to the audio problems during the conference call.
(4) 英文的「檢討會」(post-mortem/after action review),內容其實包含了「檢討」(what happened/why it happened) 和「改進」(how it can be done better) 兩大部分,但中文的「檢討會」只著重字面上「檢討」兩個字,缺乏「改進」的有效辦法,因此往往流於形式而且不斷重蹈覆轍。