Dear NiuNiu

It is really a big challenge for me, writing in English everyday, but good thing is, you did not let me write in French.  Thanks.

You went to the birthday party this afternoon, I felt your happiness.   I am very sorry that I could not give you any birthday party.

Being a Buddhist, I seldom think about doing anything for myself on my birthday.  I learnt that my real mother gave me delivery the moment she was under a serious situation, the doctor hardly stopped her bleeding. I felt very guilty whenever I thought about it.  That was my mother's suffering day. 

I still remembered your birthday.  It was an unhappy day until I saw you.  You were very furry, lots of hair, I was very happy to have you, don't know why, just love you so much. 

We were along with at the hospital at night.  I breast fed you, carried you, kissed you, didn't want to give you back to the baby room.  Your smell, your smile, let me forgot how difficult life was, how sad I was.  Years later, you told me, you looked at me from the heaven, you saw my tears, so you decided to bring happiness to me, so you became my daughter.  I was touched listening what you told to me when you were about two.  If it were true, I appreciate what you did for me.

Though I "sometimes" very angry at you, I want you know that I love you.  Never less, never change from your birth.  It is unfair, nobody taught me how to be a "good mother", I only can learnt it from you and YiYi.  I know I don't need to be the best mother, I only need to be "your mother", it is much better.

Sunday is coming, and I need to buy something for YiYi tomorrow,  I know you like shopping, but this time is not for you, sorry, but you still can give YiYi some suggestion even her taste is different from yours. 

Sweet dream, my dear....see you tomorrow

Love~~~~~

mom