Current mood: crushed

3:24 AM. I can't sleep. I went to sleep and laid there for like a half hour, then I got up. I still can't get to sleep even after I got done some online banking stuff. It's not all of a sudden feeling, but I feel lonely and sad.

Hopeless. I don't know how to describe this feeling, and I don't want to try to make people understand my own depression. I meant, it's not something I need to explain to people, right? There are always a lot of things we have to deal with by ourselves. I just need more intension to face up how I am. I'm truely weak and needing to grow up better. I feel I'm more and more useless and helpless when everytime I see my immature personailty.

I'm afraid. I want to run away, but there's nowhere to escape. I'm stuck. I'm slowly dying because of myself. I'm so alike a baby, waiting for attentions. I can't stop hating myself for being myself. Is that real me when I'm like this? I can't think anymore......