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〈曠野〉 片 斷 2
2019/10/24 04:00
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~~~~今天翻譯「曠野」翻到書中評三島由紀夫的一段,拿過來轉貼:--------


我行囊內放有一本三島由紀夫的著作,我不是服膺他對死亡或性欲的體認,只是設法抓住書中提出的問題,擺放在背袋裡面也是隨手擇對身體以及表皮感官最敏感的作家取,打算再閱後即將扔棄或作為引火之燃信。


三島是我讀過的書本裡面,對身體以及表皮感官最敏感的作家,他執拗地探觸本身感官現象,因為他刻意地要去體會並要因之釋放受到侷迫之窘困,要體驗抹殺之可能,對於性底對抗也同於對於死有著同樣地留置,可感觸其於異性莫以名之的敵視與恨意。


我想像三島由紀夫書中對想像中的女性出於接觸男性的想像而出生理上的疼痛,推衍到到他以刀刃切腹所感觸及體會到的身體的劇痛,有何必要從此種角度楔入來體會,肉體皮膚感官極樂至極痛,他可是由於病態般的敏感而能更加體認到肉體上痛的存在。他的描繪讓我理會出其之偏執與執拗。


我不喜三島,但他不期然地潛近我身體之內,我刻意排擠挑剔他,說穿了都是一層無以抵抗之誘惑。他讓我吃驚或嫉視,母寧是他身體力行的坦然,切腹自殺於我幾乎是不可能為之之執行,因為我太在意自己的感受或者說在意於自我存在,雖考量後斬斷自己身體並非不完全地不可能。可是我以為設身處地設想底情況下自己是辦不到的,我無法想像刺穿自己的狀況,我寧願跳下山崖,或者更好更虛弱地用口水吞下安眠葯,讓等待來自我了結,我絕不會有那類英雄氣慨,當然也不屑為之,可也不願併出所有勇氣與力量來與自我拮抗,雖然以為自己從能力與力量上觀並非不是不可能為之,避忌的主要理由,還是在於無法正視,這可能也是自己怨惡慊恨之盲點。


I have a book written by Yukio Mishima in my bag. I am not obeying his recognition of death or sexual desire. I just try to grasp the questions raised in the book. I also choose to put it in my back pocket. I plan to throw it after I read it. Discard or use as a burning letter.
Mishima is the author of the book I have read, the most sensitive writer of the body and the senses of the epidermis. He stubbornly explores his own senses. Because he deliberately wants to experience and want to be released because of the forced bail-out, to experience the possibility of obliteration, the same is true for sexual confrontation have the same indwelling for death can feel the hostility and hatred of the opposite sex.
I imagine that Yukio Mishima’s book describes the physical pain of the imaginary woman’s imagination of touching the male, and it is necessary to push into the pain of the body that he feels touched by the blade. Why is it necessary to wedge from this angle? It is realized that the sensuality of the skin is extremely painful. However, due to the morbid sensitivity, he can more fully recognize the existence of physical pain. His portrayal made me understand the paranoia and stubbornness.
I dont like Mishima, but he unexpectedly dive into my body. I deliberately pick him up and penetrate it and say that it is a temptation to resist. He surprised me or despised, it was better to say that he was physically calm, and that it was almost impossible for me to commit suicide because I was too concerned about my feelings or my self-existence. Although after consideration, it is not completely impossible to break my own body. However, I thought that I couldn’t do it when I was envisioned. I couldn’t imagine piercing my own situation. I would rather jump off the cliff, or better and weakly swallow the sleeping pills with saliva, let the wait come to end me. I will never have the kind of heroic spirit, of course, I don’t want to do it, but I don’t want to have all the courage and strength to antagonize myself. Although I think that I am not impossible to do it from the perspective of ability and strength, I avoid it. The main reason is that it cannot be squared. This may be the blind spot of resentment and hatred
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