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〈曠野〉 片 斷 2
2019/10/24 04:00





I have a book written by Yukio Mishima in my bag. I am not obeying his recognition of death or sexual desire. I just try to grasp the questions raised in the book. I also choose to put it in my back pocket. I plan to throw it after I read it. Discard or use as a burning letter.
Mishima is the author of the book I have read, the most sensitive writer of the body and the senses of the epidermis. He stubbornly explores his own senses. Because he deliberately wants to experience and want to be released because of the forced bail-out, to experience the possibility of obliteration, the same is true for sexual confrontation have the same indwelling for death can feel the hostility and hatred of the opposite sex.
I imagine that Yukio Mishima’s book describes the physical pain of the imaginary woman’s imagination of touching the male, and it is necessary to push into the pain of the body that he feels touched by the blade. Why is it necessary to wedge from this angle? It is realized that the sensuality of the skin is extremely painful. However, due to the morbid sensitivity, he can more fully recognize the existence of physical pain. His portrayal made me understand the paranoia and stubbornness.
I dont like Mishima, but he unexpectedly dive into my body. I deliberately pick him up and penetrate it and say that it is a temptation to resist. He surprised me or despised, it was better to say that he was physically calm, and that it was almost impossible for me to commit suicide because I was too concerned about my feelings or my self-existence. Although after consideration, it is not completely impossible to break my own body. However, I thought that I couldn’t do it when I was envisioned. I couldn’t imagine piercing my own situation. I would rather jump off the cliff, or better and weakly swallow the sleeping pills with saliva, let the wait come to end me. I will never have the kind of heroic spirit, of course, I don’t want to do it, but I don’t want to have all the courage and strength to antagonize myself. Although I think that I am not impossible to do it from the perspective of ability and strength, I avoid it. The main reason is that it cannot be squared. This may be the blind spot of resentment and hatred
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