於2010-08-31 20:30:26翻譯
一個在伊拉克服役的巴基斯坦裔英軍士兵已故戰友的真實故事。
One of the last pictures taken of Sapper Luke Allsopp, who died in Iraq in 2003. Photograph: Adnan Sarwar Sapper Luke Allsopp最後拍攝的照片之一。他於2003年死於伊拉克。圖片編輯：Adnan Sarwar
Luke Allsopp was a friend of mine. The last time we spoke for any length was in February 2003. Around three in the morning I woke hearing him struggling to stand and giggling. I saw him confused and braced against the wall. I called out, he turned and asked me why I was sleeping in the toilets. I told him it was my bedroom. He needlessly told me he was drunk.
Luke Allsopp是我的一個朋友。我們的上一次談話是在2003年2月。凌晨三點的時候我醒來聽見他掙紮著站起來傻笑。我看見他滿臉困惑的樣子，擁抱著牆。我喊他，他轉過身來問我為什麼睡在廁所。我告訴他這是我的臥室。他顯然是表明他喝醉了。3
We were both soldiers in the Royal Engineers. He was what you might imagine your average squaddie to be: hard-drinking and full of life. I was not so much your average squaddie: a Pakistani immigrant who had joined the British Army looking for adventure. He sat on the end of my bed and told me he was worried. We had just been told we were going to Iraq.
我們都是服役的皇家工程師。他就是你想像中的二級士兵的樣子：酩酊大醉，充滿活力。但是我不太像一個普通的二級士兵。我是巴基斯坦的移民，參加英軍是為了尋求冒險刺激。那時他坐在我的床頭向我訴說他的憂慮，因為我們剛被告知要前往伊拉克。1
The lads had responded to this news by going out into the local town to drink the bars dry. Now, here was Luke, his behaviour the result of a heavy night numbing reality. I prepared myself to hear my friend talk about how he was worried about his family. But, he didn't want to talk to me about that. He told me he was worried about me.
聽到這個消息，廣大士兵們的普遍反應是衝向伊拉克當地鎮上的酒吧喝的大醉。於是有了現在的Luke，他的行為是一晚上沉溺在酒精後麻木的失去真實感的結果。我本來準備傾聽我的這位朋友大講特講他的家庭。可是他並不想跟我談論這個。他說他為我擔心。
He asked me why I didn't drink or sleep with anybody. I told him it was my religion. He laughed and asked if I actually believed in all that. He told me how life was too short, how we were off to Iraq soon and how embarrassing it would be to die a virgin. Only a soldier could have put it so well.
他問我為什麼不像其他人那樣喝酒。我告訴他因為我信仰的宗教。他大笑，問我真信那個嗎。他說人生苦短，我們馬上就要去伊拉克了，到死都是處男是多麼尷尬。這些話只有一個士兵才說的出口。
I found myself struggling to fault his logic. I had followed Islam for years, having grown up in an area of Burnley that was almost exclusively Asian. My street, a little Pakistan, had rows of terraced houses full of Muslims getting their halal meat from the cash and carry at one end and praying five times a day at the mosque at the other end. Now here, hundreds of miles away from it all, Luke made me question it. Did I really believe in a God?
我發現我開始懷疑他的邏輯了。我信伊斯蘭教好多年，生長在幾乎都是亞洲人的Burnley地區。我居住的街道就是一個小巴基斯坦，有許多排住滿了穆斯林的房子，掙錢買清真食品，在這邊生活，在那邊做一天五次的祈禱。而現在，千里之外，Luke讓我質疑一個問題：我真的能相信神嗎？
Fast forward a month to the last time I saw Luke. We were painting Land Rovers yellow in Kuwait and preparing to head over the border into Iraq and to war. I took a picture of little Luke standing in that big desert and we said our goodbyes. I ended up being based with the United States marines and he went off as part of a bomb disposal team. Luke was killed in an ambush on 23 of March 2003.
我最後一次見Luke前一個月的時候，我們在科威特把Land Rovers畫成黃色，準備跨國邊界去伊拉克參加戰爭。我照了張Luke站在大沙漠的照片，然後說了再見。我後來做了美國海軍的後勤，他去參加了炸彈清除小組。Luke在2003年3月23日死於一場埋伏戰。
With Luke's words ringing in my ears I asked myself how could there be some guy in the sky watching over this mess? How was there a God who was fine with Luke being killed, fine with the dead, burnt bodies of Iraqis I drove past on my way to Basra? How was he fine with the people who waved crying at us hoping we'd throw some rations and water into their desperate lives?
Luke的話語還在我耳邊迴響著，我開始質問自己，天上怎麼會有人觀看這樣一場混亂。神怎麼會允許Luke的死？在伊拉克我去Basra的路上有很多燒焦的死屍，神怎麼會心安理得？他怎麼會看到那些絕望的人群向我們哭喊著，要我們丟給他們食物補給和水源而置之不理？
I went to see the padre. Sitting with this devout Christian in the cradle of civilisation, I had the most honest conversation I had ever had about religion. I'd never had the courage to say these things out loud before, but the Padre made it easy. He listened to my angry words and I knew it was okay for me to not believe. For the rest of the tour I spoke to the lads about it constantly, and as Saddam's empire came tumbling down so did any belief I had in God.
我去見了牧師。文明古國裡的一位虔誠的基督徒，我與他進行了一場最虔誠的關於宗教的談話。我以前從未有勇氣把這些心裡話講出來，但是牧師讓我做到了。他聆聽了我氣憤的話語後，我知道我終於可以不信神了。剩下的旅途中我直接向其他士兵訴說了這件事情。隨著薩達姆的帝國垮塌，我知道我對神的一切信仰也結束了。
Back from Iraq, I met my first girlfriend at the age of 26 and started living my life. It felt right. I didn't believe in God and wasn't scared of admitting it any more. I didn't need a religion and was at my happiest and most content. It might be a hard thing to hear but my religion held me back for years and only when I had the courage to get rid of it did I really start living my life. My new-found honesty gave me freedom and strength. I had realised that I don't do God.
