I had the second date with him in a hot pot restaurant. He expressed himself well and wished to hold my hand actively. We exchanged the photos in the past and discussed about values in life. He is a nice guy but I wonder whether he is the right one for me.
I feel uneasy and have a certain unknown fear about the future. I am afraid of the changes in the future.
I know, I am not ready for being a wife so far. I know, even though I wish to have my own babies, the time is not mature yet.
It takes some more time to observe a person and I wish to be understood, accepted and respected whole-heartedly as well.
Haha, I am not ready to fall in love. I am always asking myself, " How can he be sure that I am the right one for him even without further interactions and observations?"
But I know one thing for sure, " I should be honest to my inner voices and give him some more chances and give myself an opportunity to experience the feelings of being loved by an active man."
Wish me good luck! Open up my eyes to see, open up my mind to feel, open up my ears to listen and open up my arms to accept whatever may come in the future.
PS. I don't wish to stay up late for chatting over the phone every night. It is truly tiring. Why can't I just say " Sorry!! It is late and I wish to go to bed." earlier?
2樓. Happiness2010/12/05 10:04Note
I have known him for almost a month.
The feelings of interacting with him are fresh. Maybe I haven't experienced " Love" until I met him.
Right now, I feel it is quite natural to be held by his warm and big hand.
Right now, it seems to be more natural to have him hugging me with his arm.
Right now, I start to expect his photo call.
Right now, I expect to his goodnight.
He promises to accompany me to carry out the plan ~~~talking a walk around Cheng Chin Lake every morning before I go to work.
Even though I don't know how long he can insist on carrying out the plan, I will feel his warmth and observe his character carefully.
12/6
He always acts actively. Actually, I should say he is so active that I don't know how to say " NO".
He kissed my lips tenderly and even eagered to show his love with his tongue in my mouth, but I prefered to be kissed fondly on my lips.
He hugged me to show his genuine affection, but why did I keep asking myself, " It is the so-called love? Do I feel his love? Should I hug him back?" Hahaha, I did nothing but enjoyed his warmth from the hug.
My first kiss was given to him. Why couldn't I feel certain of the affection between him and me?
Maybe I thought too much when he kissed and hugged me sweetly.
Maybe I still couldn't trust him 100 percent totally.
Maybe I still wonder whether I am in love.
Maybe..........I don't know.
I tell myself~~~~~~~Just enjoy the process and protect myself from being hurt or hurting him.
I refuse his invitation of having another date in the afternoon because I need to calm down and think over the whole thing carefully.
Expect to talk a walk with him again.
Expect to.........experience love with him every moment.
But I am still not sure whether he is the one..........Is he the one I am waiting for?
Happiness 於 2010/12/06 15:50回覆
1樓. 子建2010/11/20 11:16wish you good luck
Don't jump to conclusion too soon. Just give him and yourself some time, and wait to see if sparks fly.
Good luck, Helen!
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback. Even though I am afraid of changes, I still wish to overcome the fears toword unknown future with actions and experiences.
He is very active, but I am truly passive. I just react with smiles. That is the only way I can do so far.
Happiness 於 2010/11/20 18:26回覆
