Bertie has my surname as his middle name, and his father’s as his own surname. I just couldn’t bring myself to do double barrelled. (Where I come from it is seen as ultra pretentious, and although I don’t live there any more… I just couldn’t quite do it).

But I am married to his father, so it’s not quite the same situation, although given it’s me who did and does all the work, if the child should have anyone’s surname it should be mine.

I think surnames are problematic anyway, because of the connotations of ownership; wives take husbands’ surnames because the husband “owns” them; children are “owned” by the father hence the surname… is it that much better that the child is “owned” by the mother? I think the ideal would be a “family” name that denoted a sense of togetherness, but that wasn’t necessarily “passed down” at all – I’m not sure how it would work.

But yeah, given that at the moment “surname” does equal family, it sucks that Orion has to have his father’s. Maybe when he is old enough to understand he will want to share your surname and you can get it changed then?