This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost

60 years, died in a car crash.  They had been in

good health the last 10 years, mainly due to her

interest in health food and exercise.

 

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took

 them to their mansion, which was decked out with

a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and jacuzzi.

 

As they oohed and aahed, the old man asked Peter

how much all this was going to cost.

" It's free, " Peter replied.  " This is Heaven. "

 

Next they went out back to survey the championship

golf course in the backyard.  They would have golfing

privileges every day, and each week the course would

change to a new one, representing the great golf course

on Earth.

 

The old man asked, " What are the greens fees? "

Peter's reply, " This is Heaven  ---  you play for free. "

 

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish

 buffet lunch with the cuisines of the wold laid out.

 

" How much to eat ? " asked the old man.

" Don't you understand yet ? This is Heaven,  it's FREE! "

Peter replied with some exasperation.

 

" Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables ? "

the old man asked timidly.

 

Peter lectured, " That's the beat part  -----  you can eat

as much as you like of whatever you like and never

get fat and you never get sick.  This is Heaven. "

 

With that the old man went into a fit of anger,

throwing down his had and stomping on it,

and shrieking wildly.

 

Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down,

asking him what was wrong.  The old man looked

at his wife and said, " This is all your fault.

If it weren't for your blaster bran muffins,

I could have been here 10 years ago! "