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Goofy Google searches
2021/07/31 03:29
“Flushing pickles down toilet”

Well, it can’t be any worse than using that stupid 2000 Flushes tablet as far as preventing your toilet from flushing.

“Dustin Diamond butter”

Here’s what happens when you search for one of the things I dislike the most with one of the things I love the most.

“Find puffcorn in Vegas”

What gets eaten in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And seriously, you’re in Vegas, with plenty of entertainment and sights, and you’re concerned about finding PUFFCORN? That’s hardcore.

“House centipedes reviews”

I give these house centipedes FIVE STARS!!! They’re great, especially with their ability to wait until I’m naked and defenseless to make their appearance! Would do business with again! A+++++++!

“Petco phone interview went okay”

Not great, but okay. I like to imagine why it only went okay. “Do you like animals?” “No.” “OK, we’ll let you know.”

“Rabid raccoon army”

We went camping last year and let’s just say the animals in the woods messed with us and leave it at that.

“Childrens in our life”

Right now, no childrens. And if they look anything like these children, it’ll remain that way.

“Smelling flowers and butt pops up”

Such detailed problems these google searchers have, huh?

“Toes are very skilled”

Definitely a quote from Jason. Do you know how weird it is to be folding laundry with him, when something falls out of the dryer onto the floor, and without missing a beat in either his clothes folding or his conversation, he uses his toes to pick up the fallen item and replace it into the laundry basket? Well, it’s very weird.

“July 32nd”

Yes, my plan is gaining momentum! I’ll draw up a petition.

“So I said rectum and you killed him good work”


“Monkey asses”

This was our code word when Jason was quitting smoking. I was also giving up Mt. Dew at the time. We called this code word whenever one of us was being a tool and the other wanted them to back off. Approximate number of times I screeched it like a howler monkey: one billion.
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