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| 2008/04/17 02:04:34 | ||
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我一直想把這個故事說給許多富有理想，卻越來越心灰意冷的人聽。
第一次聽到這個故事，是在村上春樹After Dark的英文版。這次在機場趁還有的短暫時間去逛書店，發現中文版的《黑夜之後》出書了。很難知道多少人會喜歡After Dark這種似乎沒有中心故事題材的書，但是其中一個也許在許多人一點也不起眼的小故事，對我卻是很有價值的。 身邊沒有那本書，剛剛在網路上找到這篇借用村上春樹，After Dark文章，省下不少重打的時間 從前的故事是這樣說的。三個年輕的兄弟出海捕漁遇到暴風雨，漂流到無人的小島上。海島中央有一座大山，那天夜裡神出現在三兄弟前，叫他們把一塊大石滾上山，石頭停下的地方就是他們生活的地方。越往高處去，眺望到的風景便越遠。 石頭又大又重，要滾動十分吃力，何況要推上山坡。最小的弟弟先叫苦說︰「兩位哥哥，我到這裡便好了，這裡近海邊，又可以捕魚，已經夠我生活了，看不到更遠的世界也沒有所謂。」 兩位哥哥繼續向山上前進。可是到山腰的時候，到老二叫苦了︰「大哥，我到這裡便好了。這兒有豐富的水果，夠我生活了，看不到更遠的世界也沒有所謂。」 大哥繼續向山坡前進，路變得越來越險峻，可是他決心要看世界看得遠一點。於是他費盡氣力，耗費了好幾個月，總算把石頭推上山頂。那個地方，既沒有長草，也沒有飛鳥，水份不多，只能舔到冰霜和啃青苔。不過他沒有後悔，因為他眺望到最遠的世界。聽說在那個島上，現在剩下一塊又圓又大的石頭，孤伶伶地留在山頂上。 從最近陪玄兒打少棒，在比較他球隊教學的粗糙與送他去參加專業訓練營的細膩，感觸真的很多，幸運的是，專業的大聯盟球員與教練的教法與我的理念非常吻合，而半自願性質的少棒聯盟教練不只沒有當爸爸的教的紮實，還常常給小孩一些錯誤的觀念，很讓人擔心。 之前回台灣，跟許多人談論台灣的現狀與未來，也有類似的感受：『許多人思考的模式太淺了，把許多東西都簡單化了，看到眼前的好處，卻不知道將來在哪裡，或是自己到底追求的是什麼。』 前幾天，去看聖火傳遞，前後做功課，從聖火傳遞的歷史，到西藏與英國、中國的歷史，Darfur，蘇丹與中國之間的互動等等，雖然最後沒看到聖火，卻收穫很多。 上個週末，朋友請我參加他們球隊，打灣區的“海華盃“壘球賽。雖然負傷上陣，但是守備還是打出了水準，打完球後，朋友說，他許多隊友都在問，為何我不能成為他們的固定球員？ 以前待過的校隊，服務過的單位，在看到我拼命努力，為一些“沒意義“的東西奮鬥，有些人想不通，甚至少數人在壓力下反彈，造成衝突。我沒有去怪過他們，畢竟，每個人有自己選擇如何生活的權力。 在很多場合中，看到人們習慣敷衍了事，或是固守窠臼。在不求甚解成了習慣，人就成了一個只求生存的工具，然而，到底人這一生過去了之後所留下的是什麼？ 網路科技的進步，把許多障礙都去除了，只要有心，知道如何安排時間，人與人的差異應該是越來越小，但是，所謂Ｍ型社會卻越來越嚴重。為什麼呢？ 這就在於人的思考模式與執行的能力。玄兒的少棒隊，因為有這個困擾，我為了讓他能夠學到正確的觀念，或者單單希望他不會學到不好的習慣，我只能盡量當義務教練，一方面讓我的傷更難復癒，一方面沒有時間去做一些影響更久遠的事情，讓我很難處理。 聖火之爭至今還是沒有止息，尤其是反中與親中兩造之間根本沒有交集，更是讓人心寒。至於五、六年前決定週末該留給家人，而退出華人的壘球圈，每次去插花就會遇上被人問類似問題所困擾。在缺少切磋球季的"球隊"中，不知道除了當一個很好用的球員外，還有什麼存在價值？在美國這幾年來，與主流運動圈交往所獲得的滿足，不是這些只待在華人圈中的人們能想像的。 這輩子追求的，也許只是一個無形的價值與理想，最根本的問題是，人生代表的又是什麼呢？ 幸好目前還算活的很實在，不會感到現實與理想的衝突，做人，不覺得高，就不會覺得寒了。 附上這段故事的英文摘要，前後稍微交代的清楚些： “Is that it?” he says. “It’s amazing how two sisters can be so different.” “We live two different lives.” He thinks about her words for a few moments and then says, “I wonder how it turns out that we all lead such different lives. Take you and your sister, for example. You’re born to the same parents, you grow up in the same household, you’re both girls. How do you end up with such wildly different personalities? At what point do you, like, go your separate ways? One puts on a bikini like little semaphore flags and lies by the pool looking sexy, and the other puts on her school bathing suit and swims her heart out like a dolphin . . .” Mari looks at him. “Are you asking me to explain it to you here and now in twenty-five words or less while you eat your chicken salad?” He shakes his head. “No, I was just saying what popped into my head out of curiosity or something. You don’t have to answer. I was just asking myself.” He starts to work on his chicken salad again, changes his mind, and continues: “I don’t have any brothers or sisters, so I just wanted to know: up to what point do they resemble each other, and where do their differences come in?” Mari remains silent while the young man with the knife and fork in his hands stares thoughtfully at a point in space above the table. Then he says, “I once read a story about three brothers who washed up on an island in Hawaii. A myth. An old one. I read it when I was a kid, so I probably don’t have the story exactly right, but it goes something like this. Three brothers went out fishing and got caught in a storm. They drifted on the ocean for a long time until they washed up on the shore of an uninhabited island. It was a beautiful island with coconuts growing there and tons of fruit on the trees, and a big, high mountain in the middle. The night they got there, a god appeared in their dreams and said, ‘A little farther down the shore, you will find three big, round boulders. I want each of you to push his boulder as far as he likes. The place you stop pushing your boulder is where you will live. The higher you go, the more of the world you will be able to see from your home. It’s entirely up to you how far you want to push your boulder.’ ” The young man takes a drink of water and pauses for a moment. Mari looks bored, but she is clearly listening. “Okay so far?” he asks. Mari nods. “Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop.” “If it’s not too long.” “No, it’s not too long. It’s a pretty simple story.” He takes another sip of water and continues with his story. “So the three brothers found three boulders on the shore just as the god had said they would. And they started pushing them along as the god told them to. Now these were huge, heavy boulders, so rolling them was hard, and pushing them up an incline took an enormous effort. The youngest brother quit first. He said, ‘Brothers, this place is good enough for me. It’s close to the shore, and I can catch fish. It has everything I need to go on living. I don’t mind if I can’t see that much of the world from here.’ His two elder brothers pressed on, but when they were midway up the mountain, the second brother quit. He said, ‘Brother, this place is good enough for me. There is plenty of fruit here. It has everything I need to go on living. I don’t mind if I can’t see that much of the world from here.’ The eldest brother continued walking up the mountain. The trail grew increasingly narrow and steep, but he did not quit. He had great powers of perseverance, and he wanted to see as much of the world as he possibly could, so he kept rolling the boulder with all his might. He went on for months, hardly eating or drinking, until he had rolled the boulder to the very peak of the high mountain. There he stopped and surveyed the world. Now he could see more of the world than anyone. This was the place he would live—where no grass grew, where no birds flew. For water, he could only lick the ice and frost. For food, he could only gnaw on moss. Be he had no regrets, because now he could look out over the whole world. And so, even today, his great, round boulder is perched on the peak of that mountain on an island in Hawaii. That’s how the story goes.” Silence. Mari asks, “Is it supposed to have some kind of moral?” “Two, probably. The first one,” he says, holding up a finger, “is that people are all different. Even siblings. And the other one,” he says, holding up another finger, “is that if you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price.” Mari offers her opinion: “To me, the lives chosen by the two younger brothers make the most sense.” “True,” he concedes. “Nobody wants to go all the way to Hawaii to stay alive licking frost and eating moss. That’s for sure. But the eldest brother was curious to see as much of the world as possible, and he couldn’t suppress that curiosity, no matter how big the price was he had to pay.” “Intellectual curiosity.” “Exactly.” Mari went on thinking about this for a while, one hand perched on her thick book. “Even if I asked you very politely what you’re reading, you wouldn’t tell me, would you?” he asks. “Probably not.” “It sure looks heavy.” Mari says nothing. “It’s not the size book most girls carry around in their bags.” Mari maintains her silence. He gives up and continues his meal. This time, he concentrates his attention on the chicken salad and finishes it without a word. He takes his time chewing and drinks a lot of water. He asks the waitress to refill his water glass several times. He eats his final piece of toast. |
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