In 1995 I made a trip to China to visit my mother at her age 89.
It was a emotional and soul searching home coming.
Mother was still capable to move around the house and we had
a family reunion to celebrate her 89th birthday on December 25,
oh, yes, the same day as Western Christmas.

After the dinner party, mother went her room and came out with
a porcelain portrait.  She handed to me and said:
"This porcelain portrait was given by your grandparents.
as cloisonne imprinted on the surface, it was made in 1955 when
your grandpa was serving as member of People's Representatives
Committee of Chinese Communist party. Your father died in
Jail of KMT era due to his being an extremist in Communist party.
Your father was a famous columnist of Left-wing writer.
He earned his name and fame by translating the *Autobiography of
Lenin* When People's Republic of China was established, your father
was revived his honor as a Communist Martyrs. Here is your father's 
portrait and I hope that you will keep it and handed down to your next
generation so that your father would not have
died in vain. Your father passed away at age of 21."

I took a look at the portrait and had a mixed feeling all
coming at same time....
I left Nanchang at age 15 to escape the Communists taking over
the mainland China following Chiang to Taiwan.
How irony was the destiny of a human being. If my father would
have had lived today he would have been appointed to a high position
in the Communist Party; and yet his younger son was serving in the
Army as Captain of the Republic of China, the country he was willing
to die and sacrifice his life for the sake of Freedom Democracy
and the people in Taiwan.
I was feeling very sad at time of receiving my father's portrait.
The country of ROC is slipping down. I have done enough as
formal soldier serving in the military for 20 years and 75 days.
I have no regret with my decision to move to Taiwan in 1948.
The life had been very colorful and interesting with so many
good friends still living in that beautiful island of Formosa.

The only thing I am feeling puzzle about the destiny of each
human's endeavour and encounter. It is sad and unfortunate
that the same people living on two sides of Taiwan straight have
to face the suffering of family  separation and experience the trauma
of civil war.

I concluded that the war is an evil thing, be it an international
or Civil war.