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【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertine's departure) 2
2020/11/30 04:00
【書摘】女逃亡者阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertines departure) 2
Certes, ce coup physique au coeur que donne une telle séparation et qui, par cette terrible puissance d’enregistrement qu’a le corps, fait de la douleur quelque chose de contemporain à toutes les époques de notre vie où nous avons souffert, certes, ce coup au coeur sur lequel spécule peut-être un peu – tant on se soucie peu de la douleur des autres – la femme qui désire donner au regret son maximum d’intensité, soit que, n’esquissant qu’un faux départ, elle veuille seulement demander des conditions meilleures, soit que, partant pour toujours – pour toujours,! – elle désire frapper, ou pour se venger, ou pour continuer d’être aimée, ou dans l’intérêt de la qualité du souvenir qu’elle laissera, briser violemment ce réseau de lassitudes, d’indifférences, qu’elle avait senti se tisser, – certes, ce coup au coeur, on s’était promis de l’éviter, on s’était dit qu’on se quitterait bien. Mais il est vraiment rare qu’on se quitte bien, car, si on était bien, on ne se quitterait pas!
(l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47)

的確,這樣的分離打擊了我的身心,這一擊通過肉體的極大的載入能力使痛苦變成了某種與我們飽經憂患的生活的各個時期同步的東西,——的確,那個希望我的悔恨達到最尖銳程度的女人也許對我心靈承受的這一擊寄託了某種希望 (人們很少考慮別人的痛苦),她也許假裝出走,只想以此要求較好的生活條件,也許永遠出走——永遠!——以此懲罰我,報復我或繼續被我所愛,或者 (為了我將來對她保持美好的記憶) 猛力打破她感到正在她周圍編織的厭倦和冷漠的網路,——的確,我們曾經相許避免互相對心靈進行這樣的打擊,我們曾經相約友好地分手。然而友好分手實屬罕見,因為如果相處甚篤就不會分手。
(p.7 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992)

To be sure, the physical blow which such a parting strikes at the heart, and which, because of that terrible capacity for registering things with which the body is endowed, makes our suffering somehow contemporaneous with all the epochs in our life in which we have suffered; to be sure, this blow at the heart upon which the woman speculates a little perhaps—so little compunction do we shew for the sufferings of other people—who is anxious to give the maximum intensity to regret, whether it be that, merely hinting at an imaginary departure, she is seeking only to demand better terms, or that, leaving us for ever—for ever!—she desires to wound us, or, in order to avenge herself, or to continue to be loved, or to enhance the memory that she will leave behind her, to rend asunder the net of weariness, of indifference which she has felt being woven about her—to be sure, this blow at our heart, we had vowed that we would avoid it, had assured ourselves that we would make a good finish. But it is rarely indeed that we do finish well, for, if all was well, we would never finish!

(Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff)

Certainly, the physical heartache which such a separation deals and which, through the bodys terrible ability to keep records, renders any pain contemporary with all the periods in our lives when we have suffered,—certainly this heartache, perhaps somewhat calculated—so little do we care for the pain of others—by a woman desiring to make us miss her as acutely as possible, whether the woman only pretending to make her departure wishes merely to obtain more favourable conditions, or whether leaving for ever—for ever!—she wants to strike a blow, perhaps from vengeance, perhaps to continue to be loved, or perhaps to preserve the quality of the memory that she will leave, and violently break out of this network of tedium and indifference which she had felt being woven around her,—certainly we had promised each other that we would avoid such heartache, we had said that we would part on good terms. But it is in fact very rare to part on good terms, for if all were well we would not separate.
(Translated by Carol Clark)