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【書摘】女逃亡者—阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertine's departure) 1-4
2020/11/29 05:51
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【書摘】女逃亡者阿爾貝蒂娜的出走 (Albertines departure) 1-4
Mais cette connaissance que ne m’avaient pas donnée les plus fines perceptions de l’esprit venait de m’être apportée, dure, éclatante, étrange, comme un sel cristallisé par la brusque réaction de la douleur. J’avais une telle habitude d’avoir Albertine auprès de moi, et je voyais soudain un nouveau visage de l’Habitude. Jusqu’ici je l’avais considérée surtout comme un pouvoir annihilateur qui supprime l’originalité et jusqu’à la conscience des perceptionsi; maintenant je la voyais comme une divinité redoutable, si rivée à nous, son visage insignifiant si incrusté dans notre coeur que si elle se détache, ou si elle se détourne de nous, cette déité que nous ne distinguions presque pas nous inflige des souffrances plus terribles qu’aucune et qu’alors elle est aussi cruelle que la mort.
(l’édition Gallimard, Paris, 1946-47)

不過恐怕連最精微的理性認識能力也無從賦予我的這種認識適才卻因為驟然的痛苦反應而使我獲得了它。它堅實,鮮明而奇特,宛若一顆晶瑩的鹽粒。阿爾貝蒂娜待在我的身邊已成了我的習慣,而我卻突然看見了「習慣」的另一副面孔。在此之前,我總把習慣看作一種摧毀力,它毀滅獨創性乃至毀滅感知的意識;如今我卻把這種習慣視為令人畏懼的神力。它如此緊密地和我們連在一起,它那不起眼的容貌那麼牢固地嵌刻在我們的心間,可是這種幾乎看不真切的神力一旦脫離開來,一旦離開了我們,我們便會遭受最最可怕的痛苦,到那時,習慣便會像死亡一般殘酷。
(p.2 追憶似水年華 VI 女逃亡者 聯經版 1992)

But this knowledge which had not been given me by the finest mental perceptions had now been brought to me, hard, glittering, strange, like a crystallised salt, by the abrupt reaction of grief. I was so much in the habit of seeing Albertine in the room, and I saw, all of a sudden, a fresh aspect of Habit. Hitherto I had regarded it chiefly as an annihilating force which suppresses the originality and even our consciousness of our perceptions; now I beheld it as a dread deity, so riveted to ourselves, its meaningless aspect so incrusted in our heart, that if it detaches itself, if it turns away from us, this deity which we can barely distinguish inflicts upon us sufferings more terrible than any other and is then as cruel as death itself.
(Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff)

But this knowledge, which the finest insights of my intellect had not given me, had just been brought home to me, as hard, dazzling and strange as crystals of salt, through the sudden stimulus of pain, I had become so accustomed to having Albertine beside me, and now I suddenly saw Habit in a completely new perspective. Until now I had considered it above all as a negative force suppressing the originality and even our awareness of our perceptions; now I saw it as a fearsome goddess, so attached to us, with her inscrutable face so grafted on to our hearts that if she detaches herself and turns away from us, this deity, whose presence we were barely able to discern, inflicts upon us the most terrible suffering, and then she is as cruel as death.
(Translated by Carol Clark)

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