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Excerpt:《不安之書》(The Book of Disquiet) 09
2019/09/16 05:30
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Excerpt:《不安之書》(The Book of Disquiet) 09

330 / 美麗無用〉

既然一切事物或許並非都是虛假的,或許沒有什麼可以拯救我們,那麼,我的愛,謊言幾乎有令人欣喜若狂的愉悅。
微妙至極!完全顛倒黑白!荒謬的謊言具有一切乖張違逆的魅力,甚至具有更強烈、更天真無辜的終極魅力。故作天真無辜——還有誰能超越這種微妙?顛倒黑白甚至並不嚮往帶給我們快樂,也缺乏使我們痛苦的狂暴,跌落在快樂和痛苦之間的地板上,像無用可笑的劣質玩具,而大人們拿它來消遣!
難道你不知道,買下不需要的精緻小玩意會帶來快樂嗎?難道你不知道,我們心不在焉時走錯路會使人高興嗎?人類行為的色彩和贗品的色彩一樣優美……這些超過了它的本質範圍,也和它的自身目的矛盾?
浪費本來有作為的生命,從不完成必然美麗的藝術品,放棄通往成功的必經之路,這是多麼令人崇敬的事情啊!
……
為什麼藝術美麗?因為藝術無用。為什麼生活醜陋?因為生活充滿了目的、目標和意圖。所有的路都是從一個點通往另一個點。如果有一條沒有人來來往往的路該有多好!如果有人傾其一生修建一條連接兩個中間地帶的路——這條路若是往兩邊的盡頭延伸就有用,但如果只是保持在兩邊的中間地帶,那該有多麼微妙——該有多好!
廢墟是美麗的?因為它們不再有用。
往昔是美好的?對往昔的回憶,由於回憶意味著使它成為現在,它既不是現在也不是過去——荒謬,我的愛,荒謬。
我寫下這一切——為什麼我要寫這本書?因我知道它不完美。夢見的是完美的;寫下的就變得不完美;這便是為什麼我要寫下來。尤其因為我提倡無用和荒謬——我寫書以便自欺欺人,以便偏離我自己的理論。
這一切之中的最高榮耀,我的愛,就是認為或許沒有一句話是真的,我甚至也不相信它是真的。
而當謊言開始帶來愉快,讓我們實話實說,承認這個謊言。當謊言使我們變得焦慮,讓我們停下來,以便使痛苦不會逆轉為快樂。

330
Since perhaps not everything is false, may nothing cure us, my love, of the almost ecstatic pleasure of lying.
Ultimate subtlety! Supreme perversion! The absurd lie has all the charm of the perverse with the even greater, ultimate charm of being innocent. The deliberately innocent perversion — who can go beyond this supreme subtlety? The perversion that doesnt even aspire to give us pleasure and that lacks the fury to cause us pain, falling to the ground between pleasure and pain, useless and absurd like a shoddy toy with which an adult tries to amuse himself!
Dont you know, Exquisite One, the pleasure of buying things you dont need? Dont you know the delight of roads which, when were distracted, we take by mistake? What human act has a colour as lovely as a spurious one……which lies to its own nature and contradicts its own intention?
How sublime to waste a life that could have been useful, never to execute a work of art that was certain to be beautiful, to abandon midway a sure road to victory!
……
Why is art beautiful? Because its useless. Why is life ugly? Because its all aims, objectives and intentions. All of its roads are for going from one point to another. If only we could have a road connecting a place no one ever leaves from to a place where no one goes! If only someone would devote his life to building a road from the middle of one field to the middle of another — a road that would be useful if extended at each end, but that would sublimely remain as only the middle stretch of a road!
The beauty of ruins? That theyre no longer good for anything.
The sweetness of the past? Our memory of it, since to remember it is to make it present, and it isnt present nor ever can be — absurdity, my love, absurdity.
And I who am saying all this — why am I writing this book? Because I realize its imperfect. Dreamed, it would be perfection; written, it becomes imperfect; thats why Im writing it. And above all else, because I advocate uselessness, absurdity, —I write this book to lie to myself, to be unfaithful to my own theory.
And the supreme glory of all this, my love, is to think that perhaps none of it is true and that I dont even believe its true.
And when lying begins to bring us pleasure, lets give it the lie by telling the truth. And when lying causes us anxiety, lets stop so that the suffering cant become even perversely pleasurable.


346 / 夢境中的萬物〉
我們夢到的事物只有一個面向。我們無法繞過它們,去瞧另一面。生活中的萬物存在一個問題,那便是我們可以從各個角度觀察它們。和我們的靈魂一樣,我們夢境中的萬物不過是我們能夠看到的那一面。

346
The things we dream have just one side. We cant walk around them to see whats on the other side. The problem with the things of life is that we can look at them from all sides. The things we dream have, like our souls, only the side that we see.

劉勇軍/野人出版社
英譯:Richard ZenithPenguin Classics


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