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迷路在箭竹林中
2019/04/21 07:29
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迷路在箭竹林中
作者:許其正
更新: 2019-04-21 12:44 AM 大紀元時報文學世界

迷路了,在這箭竹林中
試探,試探,再試探
企圖突破,尋找出路
卻迄無所獲
我仍然在這箭竹林中

是秋末冬初時候
是近黃昏時候
氣溫漸漸冷了
光線也漸漸暗了
我仍然在這箭竹林中

大夥來二子坪玩
走著走著,路邊箭竹籬笆出現縫隙
我便一逕鑽過籬笆
誤認自己進入了
一個世外桃源

何等興奮,眼睛射出晶光
向前直走,抱著尋寶之心
前後左右都是直立的箭竹
盈盈的綠到處燦亮
偶有林中小鳥鳴唱飛竄

只是,走著,走著
越走越深入林中
終至迷了路徑
前方是箭竹,後方是箭竹,左右也是
出路在哪裡呢?

我困惑著,我困惑著
如何突破迷障
走到原來的大路?
我試探再試探,試探再試探
仍未尋獲……

氣溫越來越冷了
光線越來越暗了
急迫在燃燒我的眉
困惑在綑綁我的心
同伴想必也為找不到我而急吧

我迷失在二子坪的箭竹林中
我迷失在秋末冬初時候
我迷失在黃昏時候
連我也秋末冬初了
連我也黃昏時候了

Get lost in arrow bamboo forest  Hsu chiCheng

I get lost, in the bamboo forest
I search, search and search again
Try to break through, find a road
But can do nothing for it
I still in the arrow bamboo forest

It’s the time of late autumn and early winter
Near dusk
Colder slowly the temperature
Ray of light is also dark slowly
I’m still in the bamboo forest

We all to trip to Erzepin
Walk along the road, there is a chink appeared in the arrow bamboo fence by the road
I get into the chink of the fence myself
Mistake that I’m
Enter a paradise

How excitement I’m, crystal light spares from my eyes
I walk forward, hold the mind to search gem
The arrow bamboo trees stands erectly all along me
There brilliant everywhere the full green
There are small birds flying and singing among the forest

However, as I walk and walk
More deep the forest the more I walk
I lost my road eventually
There are arrow bamboos in front me, arrow bamboos behind me, and also my sides
Where is the exit of the road?

I’m puzzled, I’m puzzled
How do I break through the labyrinth?
I try and try, I try and try
Can’t find till now…

The temperature is colder and colder
The light is dimmer and dimmer
It’s extreme emergency
Puzzle tied my mind
Must be my companies are impatient for no find me also

I get lost in the bamboo forest
I get lost at the time of late autumn and early winter
I get lost in the time of dusk
As well as I’m at the time of late autumn and early winter
As well as I’m in the time of dusk@
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迴響(5) :
5樓. pearlz (民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO )
2019/04/23 15:16
我是文學門外漢

興致一來,隨便說說,只是提出不同的想法而已。

格主的中英文造詣高深,非我能及,謝謝包涵。


妳提得很好,讓我思考遣詞用字.我譯時太匆促了.妳在澳洲,接觸英文的機會多;我一直在台灣,寫譯或許可以,但講可能差些.

很謝謝!我該向妳學習!

其正2019/04/24 10:48回覆
4樓. pearlz (民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO )
2019/04/22 07:20
"Time"

我覺得 time 用的地方不是很理想,而且重複太多次,凸顯它的不討好。

譬如:季節變換時,可否用類似 conjunction 的連接詞?

Dusk 可否用 when it is dusk 替代?

I am lost 讀起來似乎比 I get lost 更合乎味道?


謝謝指教!我會再斟酌修訂.這幾天,我忙於跑醫院,譯得有些急. 其正2019/04/23 05:08回覆
3樓. pearlz (民進黨抹黑霸凌WHO )
2019/04/22 07:09
Can I say?
“I am stuck in the forest of the arrow bamboo “ instead?
早安! 謝謝指教!投稿發信那天可能匆忙了些,臨時未太多思考斟酌,原刊出的稿還有一行沒譯到呢. 其正2019/04/23 05:02回覆
2樓. 其正
2019/04/21 10:36
這幾年我比較去那邊.是太太喜歡去那邊觀賞,(包括所有陽明山景點)找我去的.當然,那邊也很美.我總是當她的專屬模特兒.
1樓. 一畝桑田
2019/04/21 08:48
二子坪箭竹林,
台湾難得的秘境呀。
這幾年我比較去那邊.是太太喜歡去那邊觀賞,(包括所有陽明山景點)找我去的.當然,那邊也很美.我總是當她的專屬模特兒. 其正2019/04/21 10:37回覆