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| 2008/02/15 01:21:26 瀏覽267｜回應0｜推薦1 | |
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SINGLES CELEBRATE FRIENDSHIP AT ANNUAL VALENTINE'S DINNERDEAR ABBY: Valentine's Day is once again upon us. As a single woman, I have recognized that even on this day one can feel completely left out of things. So, last year I started a new tradition with my single women friends.
DEAR ABBY: Last year on Valentine's Day I had many errands to run, so I started at my favorite coffee shop at 7 a.m.
As I ate, I watched him make several slow trips for food. He put milk and sugar in her dry cereal. He cut her food and twice wiped her mouth with her napkin. He put sugar and cream in her coffee and stirred it.
DEAR ABBY: My 94-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home, has had so much fun making valentines for all her grandkids -- ages 17 to 46.
------------------------------------ UNEXPECTED KINDNESS HELPS GRANDMOTHER OUT OF A JAM DEAR ABBY: I took my grandsons to see a movie. They were looking forward to our outing all week. As we stood in line to buy tickets, I realized I had only a $20 bill in my wallet. We had planned to lunch on hot dogs and drinks in the theater, but I knew I wouldn't have enough cash. I told my grandchildren we had a problem -- I was short of money -- but I figured I could write a check. The 7-year-old said, "No, MeeMaw! The sign says cash only." I replied, "That's OK because it doesn't cost much for kids." He piped up again, "MeeMaw, the sign says $4 for children." As the line to the cashier grew shorter, we decided that we'd buy only one hot dog and one drink, and we'd share. Unbeknownst to me, a young lady standing in front of us overheard our conversation. When she reached the cashier, she purchased her tickets, then turned to me and handed me three tickets to see our movie. I was shocked and delighted and so were the boys. I tried to thank her, but she was gone in a flash. Abby, I will never forget that dear girl's kindness and neither will the boys. It happened more than a year ago, but I still think of it to this day and have tried to pass her generous act forward. I hope she sees this letter so she will know what an impact her spontaneous act of kindness had on us. -- GRATEFUL MEEMAW IN AUSTIN, TEXAS DEAR MEEMAW: So do I. Acts of kindness are like pebbles tossed into a reflecting pool. The ripples radiate outward long after the deed is done. story continues below advertisement DEAR ABBY: I know you sometimes enjoy sharing amusing incidents with your readers. Years ago, we lived in a friendly community of row houses with attached garages. I was attending college at the time, and usually returned home around midnight. My best pal, my cat Peg, would wait for me on top of the garage. When I left the garage, Peg would jump on my shoulders and remain there for several hours after I went inside to study. One night I was delayed getting home. My next-door neighbor, an alcoholic, came home from a party stewed to the gills around the time I usually got there. There were no lights in the garage, and it was very dark. Assuming it was me, Peg jumped on his shoulders as he left the garage. My neighbor screamed and yelled. The neighbors came out to see what was going on. The police arrived. Hysteria ensued. The next day the morning paper had the headline, "Wild Animal Escapes From Zoo." -- MORRIS W. IN ARIZONA DEAR MORRIS: And I know which one. It was one of their pink elephants. DEAR ABBY: Please help me. My lover and I have been disagreeing lately and are considering couples counseling. However, he keeps insisting that we see the marriage counselor he and his wife are currently seeing. I want to make this relationship work, but I think it's inappropriate to receive counseling from the same one that they are currently seeing. What do you think? -- NEEDS THERAPY IN TEXAS DEAR NEEDS THERAPY: I think you should definitely have some sessions with the therapist who is counseling your lover and his wife. They could prove enlightening. I'm willing to bet the farm that the same issues that have caused him to cheat on her are the ones at the root of your problems with him. And I'm not at all sure that "making this relationship work" would ultimately be in your best interests. ------------- DOMESTIC ASSAULTS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your continued support of victims of domestic and dating violence. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, a day filled with romance for many couples. Unfortunately, for some, it is like any other day -- filled with fear, anxiety and violence. The sad truth is, every year, close to 4 million American women experience a serious assault by someone who said they loved them. I would like to remind your readers that domestic and dating violence is not just physical abuse. It can also be sexual, emotional, economic or psychological abuse. It is actions, or threats of actions, meant to frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any age, race, sexual orientation, religion, gender or socioeconomic background. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or dating. With Valentine's Day only a day away, let's work to keep our loved ones safe. -- SHERYL CATES, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE DEAR SHERYL: Thank you for your important letter. As readers of my column know, your organization is one I have relied upon for years to help victims of abuse. If anyone reading this column today feels she is being abused, or know of someone who is being abused, I hope she will call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The toll-free number is (800) 799-7233 (SAFE). The number for people with hearing disabilities is (800) 787-3224 (TTY). You can also log onto the Web site at www.ndvh.org. There is help available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The danger is great, so please don't wait to contact them. story continues below advertisement DEAR ABBY: My dear friend "Rose" has a 3-year-old great-granddaughter I'll call "Andrea." I am concerned because the child does not play nicely with her dolls. She chokes them, bashes their heads against the wall and "drowns" them in the bathtub. Rose and her daughter think it is funny. I think Andrea needs help. The little girl doesn't get hit or abused herself, but she has an on-again, off-again father who has beaten up her mother on more than one occasion. And there has been a new baby in the house since November. Should I suggest counseling? -- WORRIED IN ST. LOUIS DEAR WORRIED: Andrea appears to be a very angry little girl who is using her dolls to channel her aggression. She may feel displaced by her new sibling. It might help to suggest to Rose that she and her daughter give Andrea more attention because you are concerned that she might take her resentment out on the baby. If that fails to improve the child's behavior, then point out that a visit with a child psychologist might be in order. DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, a male friend and I decided to save our spare change in a jar for a road trip. There are now three large jars, and they're all at my house. During the time that we've been saving, my friend and I have grown apart. It's not that we don't like each other anymore, but sometimes that's the way things go. There is nearly $300 in the jars, and I'd like to give him his share, but I have no idea how to do it. There is no way of knowing how much of the money is his and how much is mine. There isn't an even amount in the jars, and I'm considering giving all of it to him. What do you suggest? -- TRYING TO BE FAIR IN N.C. DEAR TRYING: Either get a neutral friend to help you count the money, or "guestimate" the amount in the jars and write the man a check for half. It's better than cheating yourself out of your share of what you have accumulated. Or, with your friend's approval, the entire amount could be donated to charity. ------------------------ VALENTINE HUGS AND KISSES FOR EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE DEAR READERS: Happy Valentine's Day. Pheromones fill the air! Although my column serves as a trouble dump for folks in dysfunctional relationships, not all of the mail I receive comes from unhappy people. Because it's Valentine's Day -- the day we express love for one another -- allow me to share some of my treasures. From a technical sergeant stationed in South Korea: DEAR ABBY: I miss my home and family. I realize more and more how important they are. I owe a special person some overdue recognition. She has sacrificed and coped with much frustration without complaint or a second thought. She has moved thousands of miles from home to strange countries and managed to ensure that our house always felt like home. She has crammed four sometimes cranky people into a tiny hotel room for a month at a time until we could find suitable housing, improvising because our personal belongings were still in shipment. She has been a single parent while I attended schools to further my career, and she sacrificed countless high-paying jobs as we were again uprooted to satisfy the needs of the military. During my year away, I've realized how important she has been to everything I have accomplished. While I have been furthering my career and serving my country, she has been raising our children, paying our bills, taking care of our home, managing our bank accounts and holding down a full-time job. This person is my wife, Kim. She has been through it all -- the disappointment, the frustration, the aggravation and the happiness. Whenever I needed her, she was there. She's the best partner a man could ask for, and I am honored that she is mine. story continues below advertisement I want to say to my wife, Kimberly Moonbeams: "I love you. You are the one who deserves the praise and the glory. I can't begin to measure how important you are. You are the glue that has held our family together." Please, Abby, print this. Let all military spouses, especially my wife, know how important they are to the men and women who serve our great country. -- GRATEFUL MILITARY HUSBAND DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm pleased to do it. Our soldiers may wear the medals, but the loving families who support them are our unsung heroes. From Clearwater, Fla.: DEAR ABBY: I'm one of the luckiest teenagers. I have two wonderful parents who go out of their way to make sure I'm happy and safe. I have the best sisters anyone could ask for -- they are my best friends. I have an angel for a grandmother who makes sure I am spoiled with love. Please print this so my family will know how much I appreciate and love them. I don't know what I'd do without them. They mean more to me than life itself. I know I can be a burden sometimes, but y'all were always there for me. Thank you, Mom, Dad, Granny, Michelle, Jessica, Tricia and Keri Anne. I love you with every part of my heart and soul. You are more than family -- you are also my friends. --ELIZABETH FRAZER DEAR ELIZABETH: What a love letter. I'm sure they'll get the message. From Washington state: DEAR ABBY: I work in Alaska on a fish processing boat. I'm gone six months every year. My husband holds down a demanding job 40 hours a week, runs our house and takes care of our three super kids while I'm away. I'd like to thank him for all he does. I love you, honey. You're the best. -- MRS. WONDERFUL Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. --------------- MAN WHO CAN'T SAY THE WORDS WRITES VALENTINE FROM HIS HEART DEAR ABBY: Like many men, I often find myself reticent in the "I love you" department. So I wrote my wife the following poem for Valentine's Day to make up for it. -- ROY HARRIS, NEW BOSTON, TEXAS DEAR ROY: Not all men have a way with words. I was touched by your sentiments, as I'm sure many of my readers will be. WHAT MATTERS MOST OF ALL I go to work and pay the bills And mow the grass and such. But when it comes to loving, I'll admit that I'm not much. I usually buy you flowers On your very special days. I thought that it would make up For the words I didn't say. I told you that I'd love you Until the end of time. And that I would let you know If I ever changed my mind. But that's not what you want to hear You need more than that. You want burning passion, And I'm a little flat. Life goes on, the days go by, The months turn into years. Some are filled with laughter, Some are filled with tears. But one thing that will never change And that's my love for you. Although I don't express it, It's honest and it's true. Lots of things that matter Some I can't recall, But having you beside me Is what matters most of all. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day. DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I just became engaged. After we call our parents to announce our engagement, which family should call the other first -- the bride's or the groom's? Which family should invite the future in-laws' family and the engaged couple out first? story continues below advertisement I should mention that both families are Jewish. Is there a tradition, Abby? -- EAGER TO CELEBRATE IN NEW YORK DEAR EAGER: Religion has nothing to do with it. Traditionally, your fiance's parents should make the first gesture. They can either telephone your parents and plan to get together, or if finances permit, offer to host a tea, dinner or buffet supper. However, this is a flexible rule -- since eventually you will all be family, no one should stand on ceremony. Mazel tov! -------------------------- REAL SWEETHEARTS SPREAD VALENTINE CHEER ALL YEAR DEAR READERS: A Happy Valentine's Day to one and all! There may be snowdrifts on the ground or rain clouds in the forecast, but regardless of what the weatherman says, there's sunshine and springtime in our hearts. So, be a sweetheart: Call someone who's alone to say, "I'm thinking about you." If you know someone who's in a nursing home, take some flowers. Put your discarded belongings in a box and call Goodwill. Donate some blood. Listen to your teen-ager. Tell your parents you think they're great. Tape a love note to his (or her) mirror. Forgive an enemy. Send a donation to Meals on Wheels or the Salvation Army. And, if you love someone -- tell him (or her) now; please don't wait until next Valentine's Day to be a sweetheart again. -- LOVE, ABBY DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old woman with a master's degree. I have a great job at an Internet company. Last summer, my closest friends and I traveled to three foreign countries, saw four plays, three baseball games, one soccer match and seven concerts. So what could possibly be the problem? My family is concerned that I do not have a boyfriend. They can't understand how I can be 27 and unmarried, let alone without a "significant other." My father is worried that my "eggs will dry up"; my mother "only wants me to be happy." Mother calls only to ask if I am dating anyone, and when I tell her about my adventures, she always says it would be so much nicer with a boyfriend. story continues below advertisement I know people have more serious problems, but this is something many single people deal with, and quite frankly, it is very frustrating. There are many more facets to my life than husband-hunting, but my parents aren't interested in anything else. Abby, please tell your readers who are parents that a constant barrage of relationship questions every time they talk to their child is not going to make it happen any faster. When it does happen, we will joyfully tell them all about it. -- SINGLE AND PSYCHED IN HOBOKEN, N.J. DEAR SINGLE AND PSYCHED: I'll go even further than you're asking me to. Parents who constantly harp on the "have you found a boyfriend (or girlfriend)" question subtly undermine their children's self-esteem, force them into a defensive posture, and reduce their likelihood of finding someone. People who are happy with their lives and proud of their accomplishments are far more attractive candidates for a meaningful relationship than those who are made to feel their achievements and interests are not important. DEAR ABBY: I'm a single dad. My daughter just started pre-kindergarten this year. Here's my problem: My daughter's teacher is very attractive. She doesn't wear a wedding ring, seems to be very caring and has a great sense of humor. I would really like to take her out if she's available. I can't seem to come up with any ideas on how to approach her without making us both uncomfortable. If she says no or that she's spoken for, seeing as how we'll be seeing each other every day, this could be awkward. I haven't had these feelings for anyone in more than five years. Please help. -- STUCK IN NEW YORK DEAR STUCK: If you've been out of circulation so long that you no longer know how to ask someone out, try this: Mention a play or sporting event and ask if she'd like to go. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Attraction is usually a two-way street. If you're concerned about possible embarrassment, wait until closer to the end of the school session. ------------------ COPYRIGHT 2000 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE DEAR READERS: It's Valentine's Day already! And what better time to revive my Ten Commandments of Love. Yes, dear readers, I actually had the chutzpah to write my own Ten Commandments. However, it wasn't as though I was stealing from strangers. One of my ancestors was privileged to have received them on Mount Sinai from the Lord himself -- at least that's what the Good Book says. Originally, I wrote two sets of commandments -- one for men and one for women. Then Mandy Stellman, a lawyer from Milwaukee, pointed out that one set of commandments should apply to both men and women. She was right, of course. So how's this for a gender-bender? THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE # # Put your spouse before your mother, your father, your son and your daughter --> Do not abuse your body with excessive food, tobacco, drink, or any foreign substance that goes into your arm or up your nose. # Remember that cleanliness is a virtue. # Willingly share all of your worldly goods with your mate. # Do not forget to say, "I love you." Even though your love may be constant, your spouse needs to hear those cherished words often. # Remember that the approval of your spouse is worth far more than the adoring glances of a hundred strangers, so be true to him or her, and forsake all others. # Permit neither your business nor your hobby to make you a stranger to your spouse. The most precious gift you can give is time. story continues below advertisement # Keep your home in good repair, because out of it come the joys of old age (not to mention its resale value). # Forgive with grace, because who among us does not need to be forgiven? # Honor the Lord your God every day of your life, and your children will grow up to bless you. Today, be a sweetheart. Call someone you love and say, "I love you." (Make two or three calls; who says you can't love more than one person -->Call someone who's lonely and say, "I'm thinking of you." Or better yet, say, "I'll be over tomorrow to take you to lunch, run some errands for you or give you a ride." Visit a sick friend. Say a prayer. Donate some blood. Adopt a pet. Will your eyes, your kidneys and all your usable organs to someone who can use them after you're gone. Forgive an enemy. Hug your teen-ager. Write a fan letter. Listen to a bore. Pay your doctor. Tell your parents you think they're wonderful. Spay your dog. Neuter your cat. Quit smoking. Drive carefully. If you're walking -- watch where you're going. And don't wait until next year to be a sweetheart again. -- LOVE, ABBY DEAR ABBY: A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend, "Adam." We had been dating about six months. During the last month of our relationship, his car broke down, so I lent him my spare car. Last night when I called him, I found out that he had resumed his relationship with his former girlfriend. I told him I wanted my car back immediately, and I felt it was disrespectful of him to have kept my car. When he decided to go back with her, he should have returned it. Who does he think he is, anyway -- driving one girl's car while sleeping with another? He thinks I am wrong for saying he disrespected me. What do you think? -- STEWING IN SAN FRANCISCO DEAR STEWING: The honorable thing would have been for him to have returned your car when he felt his relationship with you was over. However, you put him in the driver's seat and he enjoyed the freedom your wheels provided, so he felt no guilt in steering the vehicle in a different direction. You're lucky to be rid of him with only a little more mileage on your car. |
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