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udn網路城邦
Thursday 05
2009/03/25 17:00
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Dear Dumb Diary,
    Meat Loaf Day, of course. Thursday is always Meat Loaf Day. If you buy your lunch at school, lunchroom monitor Bruntford is there to make you eat the meat loaf, in spite of the fact that it smells like baked armpit.
    Our opinion of Miss Bruntford has changed, I guess. She is still as mean and nasty as, let’s say, a cow with thingies that could shoot flames at you. But when Miss Anderson* was in love with Aunt Carol’s fiancé, Miss Bruntford did go out of her way to destroy Miss Anderson’s hopes and dreams, so in some ways she’s really, really nice.
    Still, it’s easier to eat the meat loaf than to get into an argument with Miss Bruntford about it, so today I tried to make it more appetizing by saying “meat loaf” with a French accent. But contorting my mouth in French ways just made me gag more.

    Isabella was doing her best to try to make me laugh while I was eating. I told her never to do that because I once heard about this girl at another school who laughed while she was eating lunch and shot spaghetti out of her nose. The teachers were afraid it was an intestine or a vein or something, so the school nurse had to come down to the lunchroom and remove it while the entire world of her school watched. Of course, the combination of nasal-noodle-poisoning and high-intensity embarrassment nearly killed her.
While Isabella worked even harder to make me laugh, Angeline walked by on her way to the super-popular table. I could have sworn that I noticed Angeline stop for a split second next to our table, as if she was thinking about sitting down.
    Angeline can sit wherever she wants, of course. Everybody knows that. When you are as pretty and popular as Angeline, there is a very short list of places you cannot sit to eat your lunch.



(*Miss Anderson is my art teacher and is pretty enough to be a waitress
or even sell real estate. She used to be my B.T.F. — that’s like a
B.F.F., but with a teacher. Like so many of the Best Forever
Relationships, it wasn’t good and it didn’t last.)


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