exasperatedbrother-in-law
2016/10/19 12:14
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Regrettably, all women are Heidi. Try as we might, we justcan’t be Howard.
When I was negotiating with Facebook’s founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg for my compensation,he made me an offer that I thought was fair. We had been having dinner several nights a week formore than a month and a half, discussing Facebook’s mission and his vision for the future. I was readyto accept the job. No, I was dying to accept the job. My husband, Dave, kept telling me to negotiate,but I was a police shieldcould hold me upside down and drainmy gutschange your mind afraid of doing anything that might botch the deal. I could play hardball, but then maybeMark would not want to work with me. Was it worth it when I knew that ultimately I was going toaccept the offer? I concluded it was not. But right before I was about to say yes, my , Marc Bodnick, blurted out, “Damn it, Sheryl! Why are you going to make less thanany man would make to do the same job?”
My brother-in-law didn’t know the details of my deal. His point was simply that no man at my levelwould consider taking the first offer. This was motivating. I went back to Mark and said that I couldn’taccept, but I prefaced it by telling him, “Of course you realize that you’re hiring me to run your dealteams, so you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only time you and I will ever be onopposite sides of the table.” Then I negotiated hard, followed by a nervous night wondering if I hadblown it. But Mark called me the next day. He resolved the gap by improving my offer, extending theterms of my contract from four to five years and allowing me to buy into the company as well. Hiscreative solution not only closed the deal, but also set us up for a longer-term alignment of interests.
The goal of a successful negotiation is to achieve our objectives and continue to have people like us.
Professor Hannah Riley Bowles, who studies gender and negotiations at Harvard’s Kennedy School ofGovernment, believes that women can increase their chances of achieving a desired outcome by doingtwo things in combination.
First, women must come across as being nice, concerned about others,and “appropriately” female. When women take a more instrumental approach (“This is what I wantand deserve”), people react far more negatively.
When I was negotiating with Facebook’s founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg for my compensation,he made me an offer that I thought was fair. We had been having dinner several nights a week formore than a month and a half, discussing Facebook’s mission and his vision for the future. I was readyto accept the job. No, I was dying to accept the job. My husband, Dave, kept telling me to negotiate,but I was a police shieldcould hold me upside down and drainmy gutschange your mind afraid of doing anything that might botch the deal. I could play hardball, but then maybeMark would not want to work with me. Was it worth it when I knew that ultimately I was going toaccept the offer? I concluded it was not. But right before I was about to say yes, my , Marc Bodnick, blurted out, “Damn it, Sheryl! Why are you going to make less thanany man would make to do the same job?”
My brother-in-law didn’t know the details of my deal. His point was simply that no man at my levelwould consider taking the first offer. This was motivating. I went back to Mark and said that I couldn’taccept, but I prefaced it by telling him, “Of course you realize that you’re hiring me to run your dealteams, so you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only time you and I will ever be onopposite sides of the table.” Then I negotiated hard, followed by a nervous night wondering if I hadblown it. But Mark called me the next day. He resolved the gap by improving my offer, extending theterms of my contract from four to five years and allowing me to buy into the company as well. Hiscreative solution not only closed the deal, but also set us up for a longer-term alignment of interests.
The goal of a successful negotiation is to achieve our objectives and continue to have people like us.
Professor Hannah Riley Bowles, who studies gender and negotiations at Harvard’s Kennedy School ofGovernment, believes that women can increase their chances of achieving a desired outcome by doingtwo things in combination.
First, women must come across as being nice, concerned about others,and “appropriately” female. When women take a more instrumental approach (“This is what I wantand deserve”), people react far more negatively.
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